She Survives

A member of my family was recently involved in a domestic assault.

And I don’t normally write about this very important topic, because to be honest, before last week I hadn’t had a whole lot of experiences of it firsthand.

But I write a lot about my personal life and the things that I care about.

So this is written with passion, and within the parameters of what you would expect seeing on this blog.

Approximately 1 in 4 women are victims of domestic abuse in the United States[1]. That number just absolutely blows my mind because I have five sisters and I can unbelievably say that two out of those five women have been physically abused by a partner.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I received the call from my sister and my blood boiled hot. I told her to calm down and that I’d be there in one minute. I hopped in the car while dialing my boss to explain to her I had an emergency to take care of and that she needed to clock me out for the day. She understood and asked no questions.

I wasn’t sure what I was in for, so I called my aunt. The women that raised me. She always seems to know exactly every question I have about adulthood and provides personal experiences to make it seem ridiculous not to trust her advice when I ask for it.

I stayed with her while the cop took pictures of her injuries and the destruction of her apartment. I watched my sister shake in fear as she wrote her statement. I was there for the most vulnerable seconds of her life. I know she isn’t lying, and I know that she is a SURVIVOR.

The next day I called my oldest sister and asked her to help me get an Order of Protection in place. She took the day off with no questions asked and my oldest sister and I marched our younger sister into the courthouse in front of a judge within two hours of me asking.

I contacted a Quanada rep (they have advocates that attend hearings and offer assistance to victims of assaults) and got my sister some therapy sessions set up.

She is doing well now, she is staying with me now. She seems happier.

But she still blames herself.

I want to make it clear to any SURVIVORS out there:

Anyone that causes you bodily harm does not love you.

What they did to you was not because of anything you did. Nothing you could have done should ever result in someone putting their hands on you.

You are worth more than how they made you feel. You can break the chains. There is more out there for you.

If you or someone you know needs help, the Domestic Abuse Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.If you’re interested in supporting The National Domestic Abuse Hotline with non-financial donations including material resources, partnerships, collaborations, or other opportunities, please reach out to hotline.requests@thehotline.org

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/