Month: July 2021

EOD Thoughts: 07.31.2021

This has been the longest and most boring July of my life. Of course our luck would result in us moving during the hottest week of the entire summer.

I’m so tired I swear I could sleep for a week straight.

I’ve lost the drive to even be on my phone. As in- I will not respond to mostly everything for days. Situations vary, but I’ve just been feeling so antisocial. I feel like I get like this in spurts, and often times randomly. Maintaining good mental health is hard and sometimes life is so overwhelming I feel like I just need to stick in my own little bubble sometimes.

So I’ve been deep in my head and in thought.

My body hurts. Everywhere. Specifically my back and hips, and my FEET. Swollen ankles galore. And I swear I’ve been a sweaty working mess for a week straight.

But we’re finally moved. We still have tons to do, but none of it requires me to be in 90° heat – YAY!

We’ve put some pieces of the home together, and I’m already in love with what we have done.

Someday I’ll enjoy this home while I’m not so exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Still feels like home, though 💓

Heavy Feelings

I have heavy feelings tonight.

Ones I’ve had for awhile. They’ve been festering inside me. They aren’t that disruptive.

Except for when I sit alone with myself, only my thoughts to entertain me.

They have been tugging at me, these feelings.

But it’s easier to let you hide in your guilt than it is to initiate confrontation.

I think it’s taking so long because you know that the guilt belongs to you.

There is more than one instance of this in my life right now.

I don’t have the energy to plead what I’m owed.

I’m usually more stubborn about things like this.

But this time, I’m just tired and I have no fight left in me.

It is what it is.

I’ll carry these heavy feelings and hope that they resolve sooner rather than later.

Getting used to the view 😌

Feeling super thankful as we wrap up the move into our new home! We’re hoping to have it all done by tomorrow night!

I’ve been working my ass off to get this done, but I’m also disappointed in how pregnant I really feel. Tasks are getting harder and my stamina is greatly reduced. Understandable at 25 weeks pregnant in the humid 90° Illinois summer. But I still just wanna go, go, go.

It feels amazing to be a first time homeowner. Like all of our hard work has finally proven to be worth a damn. We did this.

Enjoy some of the views- I sure am!!

23 weeks…

Are we there yet?

Yesterday I hit the 23 week mark. I know we are on the downhill slope already, but I’m already starting to feel so miserable. Well, I’ve had it rough this pregnancy as it is, but the swelling is in high gear already. I’ve got cankles every night and a simple walk across the house makes me tired.

Did I mention we are supposed to close on our new home next week?

It all sounds so daunting. I’ve got so much to do, but I’m trying to keep a healthy balance between being productive and making sure that I don’t push myself too much. It’s a hard thing to balance when you’re up and down so much cleaning and cooking and packing and playing with a toddler… Every night I’m so damn tired I pass out within ten minutes of hitting the pillow – which is weird for me, because usually I lay there and stew on life before bed. I’m usually laying there for quite a bit before I finally pass out, but not here lately. It’s actually pretty nice. And unexpected, considering the whole pregnancy thing. Thank goodness I bought a new mattress, mattress pad, silk sheets, and a fluffy duvet, huh? It’s like we are sleeping on a cloud every night… and to think I was considering on waiting until we moved! I’m so glad I pulled the trigger on new bedding. It was much needed and the money spent is definitely paying off. If you’re looking into getting new bedding at a low price, check out this post!

So I’ve technically got 111 days until we go to the hospital for the c-section. It doesn’t seem like a lot of time considering we are moving to a new home in that time period. I’ve got a lot of nesting left to do, and not a ton of time to do it! Hopefully the swelling and faint feelings stay away for a bit so we can get moved as easily as possible.

Baby is moving quite a bit and I’m getting anxious to get this pregnancy OVER WITH so that I never have to be pregnant again! LOL – I’m NOT kidding, though!

Sleeping on a cloud, while staying on budget

I wanted to get a new mattress, but was worried about the price. And the idea of going into a store seemed daunting. So I decided to order all new bedding on Amazon – and let me tell you, it has paid off!

I reached out to some friends on Facebook about recommended mattresses and I received a lot of recommendations. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to spend a whole lot on a new mattress.

Zinus Gel-Infused Green Tea Memory Foam Mattress

Someone told me that they had ordered this brand and highly recommended it. I went on the Zinus page and watched the videos on how they make their mattresses. I got this queen sized mattress for less than $400!

Zinus Swirl Gel Cooling Memory Foam Mattress Topper 

After receiving the mattress, I wanted a little more softness on the bed. This topper is AMAZING. We even took this camping with us one time and put it on the floor of our tent to sleep on. It’s sooo comfortable and I highly recommend this topper for any bed!

Silky Satin Bedding Set with Deep Pocket

My sister had praised silk sheets and pillowcases to me awhile back, so I thought, LET’S TRY IT! I will NEVER go back to regular sheets. Silk sheets are absolutely where it’s at. I can move in bed easier (Rolling over is no simple task once your pregnant belly gets bigger) and I keep cool during the night. 11/10 on these sheets, and they come in many different colors!

Utopia Bedding Comforter Duvet Insert

I wanted to get a new comforter and I wanted something fluffy! I’ve always loved the fluffy hotel blankets, so I wanted to bring that to home at a low price! I found this duvet insert for about $30!

Vailge 3-Piece Pinch Pleated Duvet Cover with Zipper Closure

I found this duvet cover on sale super cheap, so I just couldn’t resist buying it. I originally bought this before I had the insert, and I was happy to find out that they fit together perfectly. It’s super cute, light, and cool while sleeping. This cover comes in many different colors as well, and is less than $24! Plus, it has a zipper, which is way easier when changing the sheets!

EOD Thoughts: 07.06.2021

I reflect a lot. I write about my reflection and devotion to that on here often.

But one thing I’ve noticed about the last year:

It’s changed my methodology around reflection.

I used to rely a lot on the feedback I received from others. I naturally surround myself with honest people that will tell me when I’m not acting myself or when I’m wrong. I like that. I try to take that advice seriously.

That was a life we knew before the pandemic forever changed the workplace and how we conduce relationships with others.

I work from home three days a week and on the two days I’m actually in the office, there is hardly much conversation. No interaction other than Zoom for the most part.

So now I’ve got to try to internalize a true perception of myself while also taking account of how I make look on someone else’s screen.

Did I mention, with no feedback for reference?

Business in this manner makes me feel like I’m only going through the motions and don’t have much control over my own career.

So I think both personally and professionally, I need to really sit down with myself and think about how others may feel when we interact. I know I can do better at home; I’ve let a few too many curse words slip now that we’ve got a talking and brilliant toddler. And I can always do better at listening to understand Dylan, rather than thinking of my response to what he’s saying. We’re pretty upfront about everything when needed.

Anywhooo, the overall gist is that self-reflection is hard, especially after feeling the effects of a global pandemic. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself when thinking about how much better you could be, but rather consider how many things you are ROCKIN. Cut yourself some slack – EVERYONE is under their own form of stress right now. We’re all trying to adjust to something new. We’ll make it through it.

-EOD Thoughts-

EOD Thoughts: 07.02.2021

I’m working harder at not worrying about things until I need to. I’ve always been bad about gnawing on every scenario possible when I know something is coming up.

What will they say?

How would I respond?

What would happen?

I’m only digging myself deeper into a hold of anxiety and uneasiness. I try to remind myself that 99% of the things that I worry about never even happen anyway. So what’s the point of stewing? Life is too short to waste energy by being worried about fantasy scenarios.

I’ll worry when I need to, but until then, I’m just chillin’.

…………………………….

Tonight’s Reflection Quote: