Perhaps today isn’t the day to write what I feel
Maybe I should give a shout-out to the men in my life that are wonderful fathers
Or acknowledge the importance of the celebration of Juneteenth
But instead
Tonight I feel sad and that’s all I want to put on this page
Tomorrow will bring a new day
But I know that a new day will not result in a “parent” choosing to accept you
Or congratulate you, or hell- even wish you the best
Tonight I’m sad because I believe she very actively, possibly subconsciously (but doubtful), hopes that I fail
All while publicly loving and admiring a few of her other (favorite) children all over Facebook
Maybe it shouldn’t bother me
I guess it hurts knowing I’ll continue this world without a mother figure
She was supposed to be “the replacement”
She was supposed to fix me
But instead, she’s another woman that continues to break my heart and fails to love me the way a mother should
Or, I suppose, the way I believe a mother should love their daughter
I just imagine the future with my daughter…
And I know it involves tons of phone calls, adult cuddles and day dates, and one day… the involvement with her children should she ever have her own…
I don’t know what a relationship with a woman is regarding these important memories a mother and daughter should share
But then again… how would I know what mothers and daughters should do???
Tonight I’m sad, that’s all
Between the Lens 