Sometimes I feel like I’m the one that always has her shit together
But sometimes I just wanna lose control
I don’t wanna be responsible
I wanna be wild
I wanna be reckless
I’ve spent my whole life working my ass to prove to everyone that I’m not what I came from
That I’m put together
But for just once
I’d like to make a little noise
Say what I think
Do what I want
Not show up
Just be alone
But what does this say about me?
What does this mean?
I can’t help but wonder what I’ve been missing out on
I hardly learned lessons the hard way when I was young
I’m beginning to think I don’t know myself at all
Who is this woman who yearns for disruption
Yearns the chase
The uncertainty and unpredictability
For she is on the edge of a reckoning
And just wants a taste
Life is full of brilliant surprises –
both wonderful and painful;
but it’s really hard to see the bad when things are good,
and even harder to see the good when things are bad
I think that’s why we have such a hard time
feeling truly alive.
we are on top of the world,
And then the next we are
Life comes and goes in tidal waves
You gotta just keep riding it out
Because one day,
I promise you
Your soul will awaken with appreciation for life,
You will notice the smile of a stranger;
or the fresh smell of the rain;
or the warm sun on your skin
and you’ll know
you are here for a reason
Hello! Happy Thursday.
Today I just wanted to share a poem a find online earlier today. What joy, wonder, and excitement this brings me as I look forward to raising my children. This is a message many need in this world.
I hope you enjoy as much as I did
I step out on my back patio
To take in the winter scene
The snow’s beautiful blanket
Lays out smooth before me
Not a creature stirs
Not a sound was heard
The birdhouse, once full with a family
Now looks so cold and empty
The winter’s beauty leaves me aghast
But I can’t help but miss those little birds
I’m sitting at my desk with a moment of peace
For how long it lasts, who knows
My infant rests quietly in his swing
His soft, infrequent whimpers remind me he’s still there
My daughter, sprawled out on our bed;
with her beautiful blonde curls surrounding her
She sleeps so sweetly you’d never guess
the power and strength she possesses when she wakes
It’s quiet now;
but it won’t be for long.
It’s funny how much you miss the quiet when they’re awake
and how much you miss the noise once they’re asleep
I lie to myself.
Why do I feel the need to not feel what I feel?
I’m allowed to be angry
And I’m allowed to feel that anger as long as I need to.
There is no time limit on healing.
It comes in waves.
I’ll feel overwhelmingly fine,
And I’ll be unresentful.
But then sometimes I feel so full of anger
How did this happen? Why did it have to be this way?
Sometimes I feel guilty for having an understanding of the word hate.
And then I’ll be okay again, feeling guilty for living like it doesn’t matter.
But it does.
I’ll just whisper to myself,
It’s easier to let go
of an expectation
Than it is to
Hold someone accountable
for letting you down
The world will crumble
And won’t think twice
about taking you with it
Much like a thorn
Who softens it’s prick
for not one soul
You’ll work around it
Ignore the pain
And keep growing
But that failed expectation
Will devastate even
the strongest of forces
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning
It’s 9pm and my daily to do list still has five things left on it…
Oh shit, the baby is waking up. Better make a bottle of formula since I suck and forgot to pump
It’s takes so long to sit down and put him to the breast
I wanted my breastfeeding journey to be much longer but I’m afraid it’s dwindling down
I’m trying my best but I’m in my head
I still have to do my college homework
What am I doing?
I take on all of these things and I have no one to take the kids to when I need some time away
I’m stuck here
In this world of everlasting responsibility
And there’s no clocking out
I’m tired. So so tired
But I’ll continue to rise
There is no handbook on how to deal with heartache
There is no medicine to cure the pain
How can the one you love most use words that pierce your heart like a knife to bare skin?
It’s not the first time
And won’t be the last –
Your words have such impact on someone who reads into every clue from your brow
I study you
My absolute favorite person
The one I know most about
The one I revolve my life around
Why do I feel I’m more in love with you than I feel like you’re in love with me?
You hide your true emotion behind words that sting like a hornet
Its harsh pain will eventually dissipate
But you’ll remember how badly it hurt in that moment for years to come
Tired moms everywhere are sighing