The Circle of Life

We are mourning the loss of our loved kitty friend today.

Before we moved into our new home, we made an unexpected friend on one of our evening family walks. This friendly gray and white kitten came right up to Della and begged her for love. Their friendship blossomed instantly and he followed us home. He was part of the family from day one. Della and “New Kitty” ran up and down the sidewalk, he’d get in her little play tent and just lay there while she contently played.

We brought New Kitty (This is the name our daughter gave him) with us on the move to the new house and he transitioned quite nicely. Last week Della had him in her room covered up with a doll blanket as he napped peacefully. He would let her pick him up and tote him around. He was VERY tolerable of a two year old girls’ love, if ya know what I mean.

We have noticed two big dogs running loose through town a few times in our neighborhood. Of course, we are still learning the community routines and neighbors. Part of being in a new town. We always left kitty out overnight and he slept safely in the garage. We’d leave the garage door open just enough for him to barely make it under. We knew there would be no way for these dogs to get under the door, so we figured kitty would have a safe place if needed.

I guess these dogs just caught him at the wrong place.

Dylan and I actually got a night out together without Della for the first time in a long while. We went to local fair and enjoyed some fair food and a tractor pull.

As we were pulling up to our house at about 10pm, we saw these two dogs playing tug of war with an animal. We soon realized it was our baby. It was absolutely traumatizing and I am so heartbroken. I’m thankful we didn’t have Della with us in the car. I put the car in park in the middle of the road and ran out to the poor kitty. The dogs ran off. Initially, I thought he was going to be okay and that maybe the dogs had just barely gotten ahold of him. Everything happened so fast, I’m still not even sure what I saw.

So I was checking him out and he didn’t have any puncture wounds or obvious external injuries and he was looking at me. I thought I could take him in for a bath and assess the situation a little better, but he started to seize and then he was gone. I am happy to say that I was holding him and talking to him and comforting him in his last moments.

But I can’t forget the way his eyes changed as the life came out him. Although it was just a cat, it’s a very humbling experience. Life comes and goes so quickly.

Cherish those you love while you have the chance to. We are heartbroken our daughter has lost her pal.

RIP, New Kitty

I took this seven hours before his death. We will miss the happiness he brought our family
Playing in the tent

Grief

I saw a post on Facebook today that said,

“Grief isn’t just for death.

It’s also for

Friendships that have ended,

Losing your community,

Missing the certainty you once had,

Questioning your judgment,

Releasing who you once were,

Feeling lost and unanchored,

Losing traditions you loved”

………………..

How true. Many of these are buried deep inside of me. Many things I grieve for in this life. I think our world should be reminded of this message, as our entire world is so far from how it used to be. It’s okay to feel uneasy in your core. And it’s okay to name that feel as grief, it describes so much more than the loss of someone. Own your feelings and work through them at your own pace.

Getting used to the view 😌

Feeling super thankful as we wrap up the move into our new home! We’re hoping to have it all done by tomorrow night!

I’ve been working my ass off to get this done, but I’m also disappointed in how pregnant I really feel. Tasks are getting harder and my stamina is greatly reduced. Understandable at 25 weeks pregnant in the humid 90° Illinois summer. But I still just wanna go, go, go.

It feels amazing to be a first time homeowner. Like all of our hard work has finally proven to be worth a damn. We did this.

Enjoy some of the views- I sure am!!

21 weeks

21 weeks. We are more than halfway to meeting our new family member!

Let me tell ya… This mom is READY.

I’m still throwing up in the mornings occasionally. I actually started my day puking this morning. Not to mention, my ankles are swelling every time I stand for too long. I haven’t had as many bad headaches as I was a few weeks ago, but I’m just waiting on their return. With as miserable as I’ve been, it’s hard for me to grasp that I still have 18 more weeks to go… And I only get bigger from here on out!

But now we know the gender and the exciting stuff starts… SHOPPING! DECORATING!

Well, that is, if the deal on our new house ever closes. We’ve been waiting since the end of April. We originally set our contract to close the first week of June, but the sellers have been dragging their feet and we had to extend to July 1. We are now less than a week away, and still haven’t heard a whole lot from our realtor on the progress of closing and being able to move. This is frustrating, because we have a lot to do within the next four months before the baby comes, and July is a busy month for us. Buuut, we will find a way to get it figured out and hopefully we’ll be moving here within a short time!

I’ve been feeling the lil bean move around a whole lot lately, which seems exciting! When I was pregnant with Della, I really had a disconnect between the baby I was carrying and the fact that it was my child. I still feel that with this pregnancy, but it’s a bit easier for me to understand that a human I will adore will come of it. I think some women have different reactions to pregnancy, and a lot of my reactions are ughhhh. I’m thankful for the experience, but I feel more connected and loving of the child after its born, rather than while it’s in my belly. I don’t think that’s abnormal – I think a lot of women also feel that way. I still do my best to eat (somewhat) healthy (considering cravings and what my appetite will tolerate), exercise, drink a lot of water, and get good rest. I feel like I have been eating a TON lately, which is good because the whole first trimester I did nothing but lose weight. My big thing this time around is CEREAL. I eat probably three bowls a day (LOL). Last time it was french fries and potatoes – I still will always say yes to a potato in any form, but I eat so much cereal this time that I could put General Mills out of business!

Dylan is, as always, such a big help and I’m truly very thankful that he is the partner I’ve gotten to experience parenthood with. He wouldn’t let me go to the store for a case of water the other day because it was “too heavy.” Doc says my weight limit is twenty pounds. I was like, ‘Dylan, there is no way a case of water is more than twenty pounds! I can get a case of water on my own!’ We googled it and sure enough, a case of water is 26.4 pounds. So he was right – to my dismay. He’s a real stickler, but I am so very thankful – even if I roll my eyes at him when he chastises me!

Lazy Sunday Looks & Father’s Day

Wild hair is my signature

A natural look for a lazy day. No makeup, no hairstyle.

It’s been a cloudy, rainy day so we haven’t done much but sit in the garage and watch it pass. It looks to be clearing up now- the rest of the day should be beautiful ☀️

A special shout-out to the Dad who makes parenthood fun:

Happy Father’s Day to my partner in crime – We love you so much, Dylan!

To all you Dads out there today:

Here’s to you! Wishing you a day of cheer! 👏🏼

Saturday’s like yesterday

I wish they were all like that…

We cleaned out some garage trash, went yard-saling, and then spent the entire day in the backyard and in the pool.

We only have a small, inflatable pool, but we have a ball. We plan to play all day again today, too. Temps are above 90°, so the water feels so good, ahh. It’s been a great weekend.

Cheers to lazy and hot summer weekends!

Site revamp!

Good morning and Happy Wednesday!

This week is a little different for me. I’m not doing my usual 9-5 job, so I have a little more time to spend on WP. I spent this morning giving my site a new look, so feel free to check out my home page and let me know what you think! I don’t usually change much on my actual site since WP can be difficult to figure out on that end. If you have any tips or advice, drop me a comment – I’d love to know more!

I’ve included a new tab specifically for my poetry and another one specifically for my photography. Be looking out for more posts in those realms, as summer is a super inspiring time of the year!

Have a great rest of the week and Happy Hump Day!!!