No shocker here: There were more deaths than there were births in 2020

The US birthrate has dropped again, for the sixth straight year to be exact. But is that really a shocker? We all know that the economic climate in the United States has been volatile for quite some time, so I don’t find this information to be all that staggering. What is interesting, though, is that there were actually more deaths in 2020 than there were births. When you consider the toll of the pandemic, this information also doesn’t seem like it’s all that surprising. But get this: There were just over 3.6 million babies born in 2020 – which is the lowest it’s been since 1979. A decrease in immigration and a higher number of deaths in the last decade has resulted in the country’s population to have expanded at the second-slowest rate since the government started keeping track in the 18th century.

A total of twenty-five states had more deaths than births last year, up from just five states at the end of 2019.

There are a few reasons why the birthrate has decreased. Many women are choosing to wait longer in life before having kids. Studies find that there are less jobs available to younger people that are able to provide a wage that can support a family. Lots of people are pursuing education and careers instead of children – which makes sense. People want to be able to financially support their families, and the age of being able to do that is now much older than it has been in the past.

Another reason the birthrate is going down is because many women are deciding that they don’t want to have kids. Children are expensive and women are more independent than ever before. It’s becoming more socially acceptable for women to not become mothers.

In all, I don’t find this to be really all that surprising. I think it just shows how fragile people find the economy and how much they value different things than they did just years ago. I’m currently pregnant with my second, and to tell you the truth, I don’t know what we are going to do once this new baby arrives. We already pay $500 a month on daycare, which is honestly on the low end for childcare expenses. Add another child to that and it turns to $1,000 a month just for daycare. I make less than $800 every paycheck after taxes and insurance fees come out. Not to mention, my insurance will go up after adding another child to it. How am I supposed to afford $1,000 in childcare, a mortgage, a phone, an electricity bill, internet, groceries, gas, and more on less than $600 a month? It may just end up where I have to put aside my career for a bit and stay home with the kids. I’ve been considering my options, but it all seems very bleak. In a time that should be very happy and exciting, there are so many obstacles that I’m trying to figure out how to overcome. No wonder people don’t want to have kids. There just isn’t enough help out there for us.

The decrease in the birthrate is going to affect the economy, and we don’t yet know how that will impact our taxes and programs. There are going to be less workers in the workforce, so I’d assume we will get hit with more money coming out of our pockets. The US seems to be a very uncertain place these days. This is a big social change, so who knows how it’s going to be dealt with. Only the future can tell.


Sincerely, A Sad American

2020 could be a textbook of its own. Everyday is an accumulation of more historical events, and it makes me sick watching the evening news.

The leader of our country incites violence and division. He defends white supremacy and encourages neo-facism. People of color are being gunned down in the streets by those sworn in to protect and serve.

A global pandemic has been going on for nearly a year now and we’ve got two sides of a broken system too stuck to their parties that they can’t put it aside and pass a suitable bill to offer some relief to its citizens. People are losing their homes and unable to feed their kids. They’re passing a $146 billion stimulus bill after offering no help for NINE MONTHS. What is $600 going to really do for someone that is months behind on rent?

I scroll my Facebook feed in disgust at the volume of people in support of a man that is misogynistic, disrespectful, fake, and bigoted. He holds a Bible up in front of a church for a photo-op and people believe that he is a religious man. In what ways does racism, narcissism, and dishonesty represent holiness?

Our country is divided and I don’t think we are near the end.

What happened?

Our politicians don’t work for us. They have their own agendas to fulfill. And believe you me, they don’t give a damn what it does to you and your family.

One Nation under tyranny.

Merry Christmas!!

It’s been a few days! Long days, it feels like. But in another sense, it also FLEW BY. I know some people are already taking down their decorations and that part of the aftermath of Christmas makes me sad. I’m not ready to let go of the joy that Christmas time brings me. Especially not after these last few months. I told my fiancé that I was going to leave the tree up year round and just decorate it for the holiday (i.e Hearts and cards for Valentines Day, clovers for St Pattys Day). He told me no 😂

We started out Christmas Day at our home where we opened gifts as a family. We got Della a super cute kitchen set for Christmas. SHE LOVED IT and I’m thankful because we were up til 1am putting it together 😅

Her face 🥰

I got Dylan a pair of new boots

We then went to Dylans’ mom’s house and opened presents. We facetimes grandparents while opening presents instead of going to their house for lunch.

It was a very different Christmas, but I still loved every second of it. I’m sad that it’s over.

I hope you all had a great Christmas!!

What was your favorite gift? Mine is my new sewing machine!

EOD Thoughts: 11.24.2020

We are quickly approaching Thanksgiving! This year has simultaneously been at a standstill and flown by.

This year is going to be much different in our household. No real big plans and no big gatherings. I have to admit, it actually brings me some peace. It’s nice to see family on the holidays; and most of the time, it’s the only time my entire family is together, but having two sides of the family for both Dylan and I can get overwhelming – and that doesn’t even include our grandparents. So this year we won’t have to spend a good chunk of the day on the road traveling and can instead spend time at home together.

Plus, I don’t have to drive myself crazy in the kitchen this year 😉


Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

EOD Thoughts: 10.28.2020

My work schedule is currently two days in the office and three days working from home. I went in to the office today and although I like working from home, going into the office is kind of nice because I get the chance to interact with people and I definitely am more productive when I’m in the office.

We must wear masks when we are up there unless we are at our own personal cubicles. There is a temperature check machine that we must use before we even clock in, and sanitizer is found all over the building. I appreciate that they are taking precautions and I really do feel like the entire company cares about the safety of their employees (Ignore the fact that the CEO and President of the company both went to a huge wedding and both contracted the virus).

I’ve pretty much been in the house since the end of June, so something as simple as going into the office to work gets me excited. I love my kid and all, but only hanging out with a toddler for four months can make a person go a liiiittle bit crazy…

I may as well get used to being at home because it looks like the region of our state will go back into regulation tomorrow, as our governor has mandated that three consecutive days of an 8+ percent positivity rate will result in curfews, no more indoor dining, and business closures at 9pm. I know we don’t always agree with those “in charge,” but I can tell you right now I would not want to be the one making these life and death decisions. It’s a tough place to be in. Families of small businesses are at risk of losing everything and others are losing their lives. How can you possibly make a decision that pleases everyone? I just ask that you all make sure you are doing your part to help. Wash your hands and wear your mask when necessary.

I hope you all are doing well and I look forward to hearing from some of you! 🙂


Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

Pandemic Problems

I’m feeling stressed tonight.

I haven’t worked at my full-time job since April… Mainly in part because I spent two months of that time working at a coronavirus testing site, but I’ve been home on unemployment since the last week in June because my company’s volume is down 60% and there is not enough work to be done. I’ve enjoyed my time at home with my daughter more than anything, and my typical unemployment payments were covering the bills, the last few weeks they haven’t been paying out. So I’ve gone weeks without any income. The unemployment is so widespread in my state that when I call the office, I have to leave my phone number so that they can call me back when my name is next in line. The last time I tried to call this number, it took FOUR WEEKS for them to call me back. So I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of going without income for 4-6 weeks. It’s a terrifying and stressful thought and I don’t know what on earth I would do if it was only up to me to pay the bills. I’m so thankful that Dylan and I are in this together and that we are so open and sharing with our money.

So I guess this comes down to transferring more money from my savings just to make it through…

I’m home!!

I made it home to my family Wednesday afternoon!

I appreciate all of your guys’ encouragement and kind thoughts. Writing was truly the most therapeutic thing I had while away from my family for the last six weeks. That aspect of this craft is the reason why I made this page and why my love for writing and language is still very true and lasting. We are blessed that we are the people who can string words together in a well-thought pattern and not only bring others feelings of pain or happiness, but also we can feel great comfort and therapy through our words.

I’m thankful for so much in this life. And you, my followers, are one of the things I’m thankful for as well. It’s satisfying to know that someone read my words, followed my story, and cheered for me from afar.

But when it’s all said and done, I’m back to where I belong. Home sweet home.

The Home Stretch

Today I am feeling soooo thankful!

So as I’ve mentioned before, my National Guard unit was activated to run a Coronavirus testing site for the last month and a half, and today I have finished the final step towards going home besides out-processing!

So when we came onto this mission, we were told at the end of it we would be tested for the virus twice before we would be able to go home. The first test was on the day that we finished working at the actual test site, and then we were tested again ten days later. So I was tested again yesterday and I got the call at 8:30 this morning that I was negative. So I am READYYYY to go home and I’m assured that I’m not taking any sickness home with me!!

Now we still have to wait for the state’s clearance and do paperwork, so I’ll still be here at least until the 24th, but I can finally see the light at the end of a very long tunnel! The nights of restlessness and mornings of sh*tty hotel coffee are almost over!

I am thankful for this experience although it has been difficult being away from my family for so long. I got to see and perform pandemic test practices done in real time. I heard stories from people who lost loved ones to the virus, and got to meet high ranking military officials and the governor of our state. It has taught me how much I value family time and appreciate being a mom. Although it isn’t always easy and I’m often stressed more than I’d like to be, I truly do miss my motherly duties. The time away, as hard as it’s been, has allowed me to relax (in terms of not living life so fast and always being on the go, go, go!) and reflect.


11 Days


I’ve been gone from home since May 12th working at a Coronavirus testing site with my Army National Guard unit. Of the five years I’ve been enlisted in the military, this was the first time we had ever been called to duty. I’m thankful for that now since I’ve got a family. My life was much different when I joined back in 2015. I had gone to college for a semester right after graduating high school and I didn’t know what degree I wanted to pursue (Still don’t), so with a ton of support from my family I joined the military. It was something I had wanted to do for awhile, but I knew that going active duty wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I finished my training in October of 2016 and came back to Illinois to start my journey. At that time, I had no kids and had just started dating my now fiancee.

Now I’ve got a beautiful baby girl and a wonderful fiancee and it makes being in the military so much harder. I know a month isn’t a long time in the grand scheme of things, but being away from the family that I built and created is harder than I thought it would be. There are days here where the hours barely go by.

As hard as it has been being away, this experience hasn’t been all bad. I hang my hat on the fact that we were called up to be on the front-lines of a global pandemic. I joined the military so that I could help people, and that is exactly what we are doing by being here.

Being here has given me the opportunity to do the things that I made the excuse of never having time for when I was back home. In my free time, I have been able to dive into my writing and I’ve already started work on a book that I plan to publish some day in the future.

I workout every single day and I can already see it paying off. My legs have toned up and the skin that is loose on my belly since my C-section has started to tighten back up.  I’ve created the healthy habit of working out daily and I’m down ten pounds since I last weighed myself!

I sometimes go for walks downtown and the fresh air and sunshine makes me feel a little bit better. It’s not home, but it makes me feel a little bit better while I’m away.

It is finally starting to feel like the end is near. I should be going home in 11 days!! I’m trying to remain positive and enjoy sleeping in while I can (You don’t get to do that with a 1.5 year old at home!). I’m hoping these days fly by and I will be reunited with my family very soon! ❤️