Tired moms everywhere are sighing
We often take for granted all the simple freedoms.
Like playing in the creek on a hot summer day.
Burgers on the grill.
The water is slightly cold, but feels good.
Happy Independence Day! 🇺🇸
I want to feel angry.
I want to.
But I don’t have the time,
I don’t have the mental capacity,
I don’t have the sanity,
I don’t have the self-control to
bring myself back in
once I start down that path.
It’s not something I can prioritize
It no longer consumes me.
I push it to the back burner
because I have to.
I know I could feel better
if I let those emotions come
if I’d just let them go.
But I’ve got people
depending on me now,
that I didn’t have before.
Because my daughter is
watching me with a careful eye
and I don’t want the only
vision of a strong woman she sees
to be the one she sees on a screen.
Before, I could let
the emotions consume me.
I could fall apart and
nobody would know.
Before, I could hold the anger
until I was ready to release it.
I could reel myself in.
I could take my time sorting out
my feelings and
making sense of emotions.
It’s all different now.
I don’t have the time.
Hours become minutes when bored
Mondays are like wet socks
She flopped on the bed and laid still for just a moment. She pulled one leg under the other and stared up at the ceiling.
“Thank goodness today is over,” she mumbled under her breath as she rolled over to grab her journal and pen out of the nightstand drawer. Before she knew it, she was scrabbling desperately on the page.
Ha! How lame does that sound? Like I’m some teenager from the 80’s writing love notes in a book. No. We aren’t going to be doing that in this book. I guess I shouldn’t start each entry with that moving forward.
Anyway… Tonight I feel like I’m bottling. Everyone always says ‘I always hold everything in for so long until I break!’ and I don’t want to break, so I just need to get this shit out. I can’t breathe because I have so much anxiety taunting me inside of my head. I wanna be the person that uses their art for decompression. So here are these words.
Being written in order to sooth a soul that currently sits unsettled.
How can you claim to love someone if you continue to relapse back to the thing that tore you apart?
How aren’t we enough to make you stop?
I try to understand. I try to be empathetic to the fact that not everyone is raised with all of the advantages that I was. I try to sympathize with what has been overcome. But sometimes
It’s just not enough.
Your claims get countered every time you relapse. I lose trust in you every time I hear the latest stunt you’ve pulled. I hear. It makes me sick. It makes me angry. It makes me lose hope.
You have no idea the impacts of your actions, even to this day.
I was once a child distraught with heartache and resentment and misunderstanding. But now I’m an adult with disdain, apprehension, but most importantly, disappointment.
I can’t trust you.
It’s been seventeen years.
And you still don’t have your shit together.
And I’m just supposed to believe you’re telling me the truth?
Like I said, I was once that child. But I’m not that child anymore.
It’s so weird to think
that just a few months ago
this beautiful plant
was just a tiny seed.
It was hiding dormant
in a shell,
but then it emerged
and now it lives.
for the sun.
Reacting to stress and
What was once a seedling,
is now just trying to live.
I relate to the cycle.
Life is flourishing
all around us.
Garden of the Gods, Shawnee National Forest, Illinois
A color that seems so odd
In the sky
Her smile lights up a room
Her wide smile pierces my soul every time
How can this perfect of a being
be standing right in front of me?
How lucky I am to be blessed
with such grace in the form of kin
She’s more than the barefoot child
running down the sidewalk,
wind blowing through her blonde curls
She’s the warmth you feel in your blood
as she wraps her arms around your neck
She’s the sun and the moon and the sea
and a mixture of everything that shines and glows
She’s the rain that cleanses
and the trees that dance in the breeze
How can I not sit and admire her?
She radiates purity and
embodies a free spirit
A true angel on earth