An Angel on Earth

Her smile lights up a room

Her wide smile pierces my soul every time

How can this perfect of a being

be standing right in front of me?

How lucky I am to be blessed

with such grace in the form of kin

She’s more than the barefoot child

running down the sidewalk,

wind blowing through her blonde curls

She’s the warmth you feel in your blood

as she wraps her arms around your neck

She’s the sun and the moon and the sea

and a mixture of everything that shines and glows

She’s the rain that cleanses

and the trees that dance in the breeze

How can I not sit and admire her?

She radiates purity and

embodies a free spirit

A true angel on earth

Before you become a Sister

I feel like I was taking these little moments for granted. Of course I’ve always loved your snuggles, giggles, and kisses, but these moments are different.

You were my first baby.

The baby that made me realize that I was going to be make it as a mom. Because, ya know, becoming a parent is simultaneously the hardest thing and the easiest thing that I have ever done.

Everyone has doubt. Every soon-to-be parent wonders if they have what it takes to provide their child with what a child truly deserves. We asked ourselves, ‘Can I really do this?’ and told ourselves, ‘I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.’

But then you came.

And you single-handedly made all of the doubt cease to exist.

You taught me that being a good mom isn’t about making sure you have the newest toys or the fanciest clothes.

You taught me that there is only one love that will ever be this deep and everlasting.

You gave me the courage to face the unknown.

You gave me confidence in who I am as a mom.

But now the days of it being just me and you are limited. The life as we’ve known it is about to change in a beautiful, yet significant way.

It’s not gonna be just us.

You’ll no longer be the baby of the house. You’re gonna be the example-setter. The teacher. The helper.

Your infancy is becoming just a memory.

You’ve grown before my very eyes. Through these eyes, I watched creation come to life for the very first time.

So now I’m paying deeper attention into the moments we have left to be us.

Me and you.

EOD Thoughts: 02.09.2021

Motherhood tested me tonight.

I had really an overall okay day at work. The day seemed to go by fast, but I was in meetings from 10am to 1230, so days always seem to fly when I have a lot of meetings.

Everyday I get off of work and go pick up my daughter from daycare. This morning was rough when I dropped her off because she just screamed MOMMMYY when I tried to walk out the door. I hate mornings like that because I feel so guilty leaving her behind when she’s screaming for me, but sometimes that’s just what you’ve go to do.

When I picked her up today, her babysitter said she had been in and out of timeout all day because she was hitting and pushing down some of the other kids.

My daughter is definitely an alpha female. I can already tell she is a leader instead of a follower, but I’m beginning to wonder how in the world we are going to teach her the limit not to cross with her personality type.

Tonight putting her to bed was awful. She did not want to lay down so we had to just leave the room and let her soothe herself. It took her probably less than five minutes to quiet down, but the guilt of leaving her to cry always eats at me.

Parenting is hard. And the fact that it’s never going to get easier is exhausting to think about.

Regardless, I’m soaking in every moment we have together now- even if she almost pushes me to my breaking point sometimes. She makes my life better even on her worst days and I wouldn’t trade it for a second.

………………………

Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

Two Years

My daughter turned TWO on January 5th. It’s seems hardly imaginable that that much time has passed since we met her.

She’s smart

Strong

Sassy

She’s the funniest kid I know.

She wants what she wants when she wants it.

She’s beautiful, but her beauty is more than just her long lashes and captive smile.

She is gentle and when her arms are wrapped around my neck, I feel like there is nothing wrong in the world. She cries when she sees me cry and murmurs, “Mama” when she first wakes up.

She has changed our lives in the best way possible and I’m thankful for her every day.

She makes me patient and kind and responsible and joyous.

Happy 2nd birthday, sweet girl!

I’m not always the best mom

I’m not always the best mom

Sometimes I raise my voice

Sometimes I just want to be left alone

Sometimes at 3am I mutter that I’m tired of being a mom

Sometimes I don’t pay enough attention

Sometimes I would rather go to a restaurant and not have to deal with a child that can’t still quiet and still for an hour

Sometimes I just want to sleep in

Sometimes I feel like there are others doing far better than me

But I’m trying

I’m human

I thank God every night that I’ve got a healthy, beautiful child that lights up my life

But it’s not always easy

Sometimes I’m easy to get hot headed

And sometimes I say things I don’t mean

But I hope she knows that she is absolutely the best thing about my life

I’m learning and I’m growing

I’m not always the best, but I do try my hardest to help you learn how to navigate this world that is full of emotion, heartbreak, lessons to be learned, and constant change

Summer popsicles ☀️

Like an Angel

The curls frame her face as if God himself placed them perfectly

Oh, how her hair has changed so much since the day she was born

Where her entire hand once wrapped around one of my fingers,

She now holds my hand as we cross the street

She looks up at me and smiles, a mouth full of teeth

Her sweet innocence tugging at my heart

How could I ever live without her?

Her laugh can fill the room

And her kisses bring tears to my eyes

Being her mother has changed me in all of the best ways

Patience

Comfort

Understanding

Bravery

Compassion

My sweet Della Rae,

You are my saving grace

Della21