determination – Between the Lens

This summer I got the urge to continue pursuing my Bachelors. I’m so very close (2 semesters away) to accomplishing this goal; although much of my relationship with college has been where I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do. I’ve taken plenty of time away from my schooling simply because I haven’t been certain on what I wanted to do. I wrapped up my prerequisite courses no problem, but since then I hadn’t been sure what I wanted to pursue until this semester.

I got online and looked at all of the online programs that were offered, because I’d done a semester of the Business Management program and found that it most definitely wasn’t exactly what I wanted. That was the Fall of 2019.

I decided to switch over to Public Administration, and now that the semester is over I can say that this certainly is more aligned with who I imagine myself to be in my career. Now exactly what I want to do in Public Administration is still undetermined, but I feel aligned – so that’s something at least. The program is so broad that I’m confident something will come to me once I finish my schooling.

But what makes me most proud about this semester is that I took on this goal knowing the obstacles I’d face. I knew I’d be giving birth to my second child, and yet I did not let that stop me.

I’m also proud of how self aware I was. The last semester I took at UIS was a complete failure. Mind you, I’ve always been a really good student and enjoyed school. So when I had to take a failing grade in a class during my last semester at UIS, I was a bit intimidated on if I could do it. If I couldn’t handle the workload back then, what made me think I could do it while also welcoming a new child? BUT the last semester I took I had a full course load with four classes on top of working full time and being a mother. This time, I knew I’d be setting myself up for failure if I took a full time college schedule on top of working full time, being pregnant, and a toddler at home. There were many days once we returned home from the hospital that I didn’t think I could do it. I was late on a few assignments, but I put the work in. I studied and read tons of material, wrote two term papers and achieved A’s in BOTH courses. I was aware that two classes was achievable, and I accomplished my goal – many times with a newborn baby sleeping on the couch next to me.

A testament to the dedication I have and how much I value being committed to your goals and dreams. It wasn’t much, but I’m super proud and excited for the progress!

The satisfaction of accomplishing something on your own.

Let’s talk about it.

First off, WHAT A GREAT FEELING!! I’m talking about that moment when you’ve successfully done something that you set out to do ALL BY YOURSELF.

Like… You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into, but your dedicated self didn’t let that stop you.

I remember applying for financial aid for college my senior year of high school. I was the first kid of seven in my family to really pursue college, so I had no idea what I was doing. I walked in blindly, researched tips along the way, and explored the new chapter at my own pace.

And I went to college, got PAID to do so, and did it ALL on my own. I OWNED that $h#t!

Tonight I’m watching my fiancée bask in the glow of that same feeling of achievement. And it’s GLORIOUS!

Watching people succeed is THE BEST!

Dylan bought the truck he had been dreaming of back in October of this year. He didn’t want fancy, he just wanted his own style. He has a very interesting style (it’s one of the things I chuckle about the most). He’s very particular. He is the type to get frustrated over bad hair days and to want a specific hat for a given look. He’s never been one to care about what was “in.” He’s always just wanted to be unique and retro in his own way. So initially he wanted a Chevy truck with four wheel drive and he found exactly that in his 08 Chevy Silverado (He’s a very simple man, I appreciate that).

Well last week, the Silverado’s drivers side door wouldn’t open. We had to crawl in and out of the passenger seat to get to the drivers side for like a week. We’ve been short on money, so Dylan decided he was going to fix the door on his own and not take it to the shop.

I was doubtful, admittedly.

He researched the issue and went to the auto parts store bought a new cable. I was shocked he made that big of a move, but I still wasn’t convinced he was going to pull it off.

That night he stayed up until 1am working on that darned door.

He came in that night discouraged, but not defeated.

The next night he wanted me to go out there with him while he worked on it. I agreed on the grounds that I could just SIT out there and be company; not actually help in any capacity.

I went out and sat in the garage on my laptop for a bit, helped a tiny portion, and returned back inside to the heat.

The next time Dylan came in the house, the door was fixed.

He had no clue what he was doing initially, but he was determined to get the job done! I think that is such an admirable trait.

I love this guy to pieces.