Finding the Happy Medium Between Caring For Others & Caring For Yourself

I have a hard time making sure that I take time to do things for ME. I am totally the type of person to give and give and give myself away to everyone else in order to keep those around me happy. I truly believe that giving is better than receiving, but let’s be honest… It does feel good to receive!

You owe it to yourself to not feel shame about doing what makes you happy. I used to think that doing so much for everyone else was simply me wearing myself down and not taking exploring the things that I love. But then I changed my perspective. I love to comfort people. I love to take weight off of people’s shoulders. Ilove making people feel welcome and at home. And just because I go out of my way to make those things happen, doesn’t mean that I care any less about myself. It makes me happy making others happy, and I shouldn’t feel shame or regret about the fact that caring for others (sometimes more than myself) brings me joy.

Find a happy medium. So… yeah. I like to make others happy. Most people do. But what you have to keep in mind is that you can’t truly be happy unless you are happy with yourself. You can give endlessly for those around you, but if you aren’t giving yourself even half of the attention that you are giving to everyone else, there is no way you can possibly be happy. I can’t stress just how important it is to spoil yourself every once in a while. Sometimes I forget that my happiness and mental health matters too, and it always end in a crying fit of rage and jealousy. So find a happy medium. It’s good to care for others, but do not forget that YOU MATTER TOO!

Spoil yourself! Believe it or not, but I am not the typical girl. I would much rather go hiking or fishing than going to get my nails or hair done. The point is, it’s important to identify the things that bring your mind and body peace and do those things! If you’re not sure what things you would enjoy to do for yourself, there is nothing wrong with exploring to find what works best for you and your schedule. You deserve to be spoiled because YOU ARE AN AMAZING, LIVING CREATURE! Life is hard! Make the most of it!

Here are some ideas of activities you can do to make sure you are caring for yourself:

• Play an instrument
• Read a book
• Wash your face or put on a face mask (I tried this for the first time the other day, and even though it was a quick and subtle fifteen minutes, I couldn’t believe how refreshed I felt afterwards!)
• Ride a bike
• Paint your nails
• Take a bubble bath
• Go for a walk or drive alone
• Put lotion on (I have recently made this a habit after every shower. It sounds silly, but that extra 5-10 minutes I get alone to myself after a shower really makes a difference! Plus, who doesn’t love soft, smooth skin!)
• Take yourself on a date
• Paint, write, or draw
• Listen to music

Whatever activity or hobby you decide to take part in, make sure you are doing it without distraction and focusing on reaching a peaceful and happy state of mind. What do you do to rejuvenate your mind and body? I’d love to hear some of your ideas or recommended products!! Drop a comment and let’s chat!!

There Might Be Hope!

There might be hope at the end of the tunnel, and I am so happy to share that news with all of you.

If you have read any of my posts prior to this, you already know that my mom is an addict. She has been in and out of prison my entire life due to her addiction to meth. She has been in jail for a few months now, because supposedly (I don’t know the details, I haven’t personally talked to my mom in months) she hit someone and got charged with battery (or something along those lines).

 

My sister still stays in contact with our mom, and she just told me yesterday that our mom is getting released because the entire story wasn’t true and they figured out that she wasn’t the one that hit someone (Again, all hearsay). Sooooo, here is where it gets good!

 

My sister said that our mom told her that she is checking herself into rehab once released and will be there for about 5-6 months!!!!!!!

 

Now I am definitely the type to get my hopes up about things like this, but I am trying not to. My mom has made us a lot of empty promises and has always returned to her old ways, so I am trying to keep my wits about this all so I don’t end up hurt. Buuuut, with this GREAT news, I have a few questions for some of you readers out there that have been through the rehabilitation process.

 

• How long does it usually take? I know everyone is different, but 5-6 months seems kind of short for someone that has been battling addiction for more than twenty years… I would hate for her to get out and relapse.

• Can you stay as long as you want/leave whenever you choose?

• Do you have to stay at the rehabilitation site while being treated? Or will she be able to go out on certain occasions? (I know every story and location is different, just trying to get a feel here.)

 

I have so many questions because my mother has never even so much as mentioned going to rehab before, so I think this could already be a really big step!!! Please keep her in your thoughts and pray it all works out for her. As for me, I’m going to try to hope for the best and expect the worst, in order to protect my heart. Please drop me a comment with advice on how to support someone going through rehab, or with any answers to the above questions. I want to be as informed as I can on this, so that I can support her in every way possible. I truly want to see her go through with and succeed in this journey! Oh how great would it be for my mom to be a grandma to my sweet baby girl!

Blogging: A Beginner’s Thoughts

I have sat at this computer nearly all day reading other peoples’ blogs trying to find inspiration on what to write about. Still, as I sit here typing this, I have nothing. As a beginner at this whole “blogging” thing, (as I’m sure you all have) I’m struggling with trying to come up with something that other people will want to read. I just came to the conclusion that I DON’T CARE about what everyone else thinks a blog should be. I’ve watched YouTube videos from famous bloggers giving their advice on how to be successful at blogging and I’ve also looked through countless websites on issues that could be appealing to readers. Screw that. This website is mine, and I can write about whatever I please!

I’m still relatively new to this, but before I become obsessed with trying to write about what I think others want to hear, I want to remind myself and others that a blog belongs to the writer. We all started the blogging process for different reasons. For me, I wanted an outlet that I could express my thoughts and share my story with people from around the world. And what an amazing concept that is! We have the power at the tip of our fingers to put our thoughts onto a canvas for anyone and everyone that wants to read it. I have always considered myself to be a naturally eloquent writer, and now I have the perfect opportunity to share what I love to do with people that have the same interest. Maybe I’m a nerd, but I think that is absolutely incredible!

I graduated high school in 2015 and from there I did a semester at Eastern Illinois University before I enlisted in the Army National Guard. I did my military training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina from May to October of 2016. I returned back home to Illinois and decided to continue my education. Currently, I’m attending John Wood Community College and I will graduate this May with an Associate of the Arts. From there? I have absolutely no idea! I still have two more years of school before I achieve my goal of a Bachelor’s degree. College is a long, expensive investment in the United States, so I want to make sure I don’t waste any time in studying something that I won’t be happy doing. That’s part of the reason I decided to try out blogging in a more consistent way. I think blogging can teach anyone more about themselves, especially if you just sit down and put your feelings and thoughts onto the page.

As part of my blogging experience, my goal is to talk to new people from all over the world. I’ve always had a fascination with learning about new cultures and how people live their everyday lives in other countries. That being said, I’d love to hear from some of you fellow bloggers out there in the WordPress world! Feel free to leave a comment introducing yourself in the comment section of this post. I can’t wait to hear from some of you and learn along the way!

My advice:

Don’t try too hard. Everyone’s pace is different. If you aren’t comfortable feeling like you have to post something everyday, don’t. Wait until you have something worthwhile and meaningful to you before you try to force words onto the screen. However, sometimes it’s fun to just sit down with no leads, type whatever pops into your head, and see what it turns into. Everyone’s style is different, so we shouldn’t feel like we have to conform to what our idea of a “good blog” is. Let your personality and style be revealed through your work!

Don’t be afraid to try something new! I think some bloggers feel as if they have to stick to one topic. I think that’s crazy! We all evolve throughout life and our interests change! Write about the things that you care about most, regardless of if you think others will like it. Having passion is hard to come by. Like I said before, you’re the writer, so own it!