Excuses & Friendships

Maintaining friendships after parenthood is hard. Most parents will agree.

But I always kind of had a hard time keeping up with others even before I had a baby. I have always been more introverted, and I can’t really think of a time in my life where I truly felt like I had a “best friend.” Sure, I had people I trusted, hung out with, and considered more than a simple acquaintance, but I never really felt a connection deep enough to where I felt totally comfortable and completely understood.

A short time ago, I had an old high school friend message me and ask how the baby and I were. I hadn’t heard from this friend in quite a while. I will admit, I was being petty about her not coming to visit me like I feel a good friend should. After all, she lives a county away from me. When she messaged me, I was busy doing whatever thing I had on my list of things to do as a working mom, so I gave her a simple: “We’re good.”

I didn’t mean anything negative by it. I was just … BUSY! So she ended up getting upset about how she tries to keep up with me now that I have a baby and that all I do is shut her out. I can see where she is coming from. In all honesty, I will probably always be the type to keep my distance when it comes to outsiders. I like friendship and I do believe that healthy relationships are important, I just no longer have the time to put a bunch of effort into people that aren’t making an actual, solid attempt to see me. You can make every excuse under the sun as to why you don’t go visit someone, but when it comes down to it… it just shows that you don’t actually care that much. And I told her just that.

How much you care is how much you try.

On the other hand, I had a friend that actually put in a great deal of effort to see me and meet my daughter for the first time. When I first got out of high school, I headed straight to Eastern Illinois University. There I met a girl named Tiffany. Now, we both only went to school there for one semester, but we were thick as thieves. We would run out to my car and smoke cigarettes, go to the frat houses, and hang out in our dorm rooms. All college fun… but that was four years ago. We never lost touch. 

Tiffany and I while in college

Tiffany and I this past weekend

I actually met up with Tiff in Chicago about a year ago, and then this past weekend she made the four hour trek to come visit me and meet my daughter.

I’d say that is a helluva lot more effort than most people give.

And we had only seen one another one time in the last four years.

My point of this isn’t to bitch about the people that aren’t putting effort into relationships.

My point is… The people that care, will show up.

It doesn’t matter if you only knew them for a total of four months.

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen them in years.

And it doesn’t matter how far away they are.

If they care, they will show up.

 

The big 5-0

I have finally hit 50 followers! I just wanted to dedicate this to all of you awesome readers that follow my journey, read my story, and leave your comments.

When I started this blog, I had no idea what I’d be getting into. I’ve always had a passion for writing, and I knew exactly what my platform was going to be. Writing has always been a great outlet for me, and it’s something I love to do!

I started to write a book back when I was in high school, but kind of just let it go to the way side. I’ve decided I wanted to get back into creative writing and work on publishing chapters of a new book! I already published a prologue for it, if you are interested in reading it I have left the link at the bottom of this article. I think it will be a fun journey and a great way to challenge myself while also pursuing a long-standing dream of mine.

Anyway, THANK YOU for your follow, your friendship, and your support! 50 followers may not sound like much, but this blog has turned into way more than I ever could have dreamed!

-Xoxoxo, Chrissy-

❤️

Read Prologue here.

Playing in the Rain

It’s a rainy day today. 

I love the rain. I love listening to it while laying in bed. I love watching it fall. I love seeing passing cars with their windshield wipers on. I don’t know what it is. Just something about it makes me feel happy – which I feel is kind of weird since literally every movie ever made has a sad scene where it’s raining outside… Haha

I remember there was this one time in high school when I had a friend over to hangout when it started raining. We put on old mud boots, sweatshirts, and heavy socks. When I was in high school, we lived out in the country and the house had a long driveway with plenty of potholes perfect for the making of puddles. We went outside and ran around, jumping in puddles and kicking water at one another. I don’t know if she remembers playing in the rain that day, but it’s a day I will never forget. She was my best friend – still is, for the most part. It sticks out in my mind as such a happy time. We had no worries! That is, until the lightning rolled in… I don’t even remember what we did once we went back inside, but I know my uncle was also inspired by watching us play in the rain because I’m fairly certain he took a photo of us and posted it on Facebook.

Fun doesn’t have to be planned. You just have to make ordinary times special. 🌧

An ENGAGING update!!

Hi, guys!! I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been on WordPress. Pregnancy comes along with a lot of things to do! I’ve been keeping myself plenty busy at work, planning my baby girl’s entrance into the world, and moving into a new house!

Readers and followers, we are less than THREE MONTHS away from the arrival of our little girl!! This pregnancy has gone by sooo fast. I apologize for not being so active. I plan to catch up on my writing here within the next few weeks. As delivery gets closer and I am home more, I will be able to sit in front of the laptop a bit more.

But this blog is special.

My significant other and I decided we needed a getaway from everything, so we planned a trip to Nashville. On that trip, HE PROPOSED! It was totally unexpected and in front of the Parthenon.

Here is the photo we got right after:

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(I was still crying)

I won’t say much about Nashville here, but it was a beautiful city. I’m most excited that the father of my child has made the promise to love me forever. I have so much to look forward to, and I can’t wait for all the excitement 2019 is going to bring!

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Parthenon

Being Blunt About Rumors

One of the worst things someone can say is: “So I heard something about you.” Long story short, this happened to me today. *face palm* *long deep breath*

Now I’m sure you’ve all experienced some sort of conversation starter like this one. Ya know, the conversation starter that makes your heart start to beat fast and forces you to wonder exactly what you might have done wrong in the past… It’s just a truly gut-wrenching feeling.

After I was told what the rumor was, I kind of chuckled to myself. Who in their right mind made this up? It’s almost relieving after you initially hear a rumor about yourself when you know that it’s not true.

I am 21 years old and I live in a small town away from where I grew up as a kid. So I am much older and don’t know anyone from the local high school, yet there seemed to be a rumor going around about me out there. What the haaaaiiil???

Let me be blunt. Rumors suck. Don’t start ’em, don’t spread ’em, don’t repeat ’em, don’t acknowledge ’em, don’t even listen to ’em! Just MIND YO BUSINESS.

When you acknowledge a rumor’s possibility to be true, you automatically determine the target of the rumor guilty. It doesn’t matter if they are or not. People aren’t interested in the possibility of innocence. Some people want a dramatic, juicy story, and they don’t care if it’s at the expense of someone else’s reputation or emotions.

I don’t care if you know the rumor to be true or not. If it’s not about you, shut the hell up! The world would be a better place if everyone would mind their own business and loved one another.

Moral of the story: “If you didn’t see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don’t invent it with your small mind or share it with your big mouth.”

Rant over. đź‘Ť

Why I Don’t Feel Bad About Abandoning Toxic People

I have always been the type to be easily angered. I will graciously admit that. What the “old me” would do when I saw something that pissed me off would be to confront the situation immediately. I’ve always thought that if you have something to say, say it. These days I’ve kind of abandoned that idea. One, I have grown up and gained a lot more knowledge on my place in society; and two, I have a new outlet that I can vent whenever I want and write about whatever I feel.

For starters, I think that most people are generally good. I think most people will make the right decision in a tough situation, and I’d even go far enough to say that most people don’t intentionally try to piss you off.

However,

there are people that will.

There are people out there that are rooting for you to fail. There are people that scroll through social media just looking for a life to bash on, and there are people that will never have your back, no matter what they may say while hugging you goodbye at family get-togethers.

This one’s for you.

Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some stay with you for a lifetime, some teach you life lessons, some push you to become a better person. Most times you don’t realize what a person’s purpose is in your life until it’s time to cut them out.

But how do you know when the right time is?

When a person is no longer benefiting your happiness, success, or well-being, it’s time to cut them OUT.

You don’t have to allow a toxic person a place in your life. If there is no benefit to keeping you in my life… BYE! Let me promise you that it has nothing to do with anything other than if you’re a shitty person or not. I don’t discriminate on this. Haha. I have family I’ve abandoned simply because they serve me no purpose towards my success or goals. Here’s why I don’t feel bad about abandoning toxic people:

You don’t call and congratulate me when I succeed. Not that I need a pat on the back, but if claim that you want me to do well and are (oh I love this one) “there for me,” then picking up the phone every once in awhile goes a long way. I’m just going to assume that you’re secretly hoping that I mess something up.

You just assume things about my life.  If we don’t actively communicate, you don’t know what is going on. So why don’t you keep your name out of my mouth and quit making posts on Facebook about what you think. Because your assumptions are judgmental and well, just wrong. 🙂

I’m not part of your “in-crowd.” You can tell how important you are to a person. If you don’t fit their agenda or call them out on their bullshit, you can kiss your Christmas presents goodbye! I don’t live my life playing the puppet of what others want me to be. I am who I am, and if you don’t appreciate that, it’s not my job to try and change it. I’m confident enough in myself that I don’t have to give a damn about your in-crowd.

You don’t actually do anything for me. I think this speaks for itself. We don’t talk. You don’t call me and I really don’t see the need in calling you first. I don’t particularly like you as a person as it is. All I’m saying it, there’s really no need to have you in my life.

.

You are better than those that try to run you down.

 

Maybe you think you’re better than me, but I just really don’t have time to waste on people that only hold me down. And to be honest, I’m not sorry if that pisses you off.