A Changing Identity

About a week ago, I wrote about the possibility of a career change. I am now six weeks away from graduating college (the first in my family to do so) and I’ve had several rounds of interviews at several different places and I am happy to announce that I have finally accepted one of the offers and am set to start a new job next Thursday!

Ever since I have announced my two-week notice at my current job, I have felt so much pressure and uncertainty and also – something I did not expect. Sadness.

I have worked at this company since July of 2018. When I first started, I was pregnant with our first child – our daughter, Della. I got hired on as Part-Time help, but soon after being hired was working 40 hours a week and doing jobs that a typical PT person was not doing at the time. I spent a year doing that, even coming back six weeks after having a child. A Full-Time spot in the department opened up, so I threw my hat in the ring. I was promoted and started receiving benefits and better pay. Throughout my time as a Specialist, I really saw myself grow and change in a professional setting, while also nailing down exactly what it takes to be a full-time employee, Mother of 2, serving in the military, and also completing college coursework. I knew that if I kept my head down and continued working on the areas that need developed, I would be on the path I wanted to be on come graduation. I stayed in that Specialist position until November of last year, when I fought for myself and my worth and what I was owed, and was promoted to a Coordinator role where I was more in charge of day-to-day tasks, leading a team, and managing deadlines. I had already been doing those things as a Specialist, but it was the first time in my professional career where I took charge of my own desires at the company and showed them that I was worth investing in. It forced me to counter offer employers and stand strong to what I wanted. I look back on the woman I was when I first started at the company and I can see the growth and development that I have committed to over the last five years. I am more confident as a leader, a teacher, and a professional contributor. I am very thankful for my time there and it has been my home and first real job in the professional setting, so I have been very humbled thinking about what it means to say goodbye. In the end, sometimes a company cannot offer you everything you want. And if you hold yourself to a certain standard of what you deserve and what you bring to the table, sometimes you will find that no matter how great the relationships are, or how great the journey has been, it is simply time to move on.

I think I found much of my own self-identity while working at this company. It’s local to my hometown and a very large percentage of its citizens work there. I have worked hard to establish a hard-working and reliable reputation within the company, so I am struggling with letting that part of it go. When you spend such a great majority of your life at work, it is hard to break that comfort zone and commit to traveling to new places, learning new skills and duties, and meeting new people.

I am nervous, but hopeful. Only the future will tell.


It’s so weird to think

that just a few months ago

this beautiful plant

was just a tiny seed.

It was hiding dormant

in a shell,

but then it emerged

and now it lives.

Growing, reaching

for the sun.

Reacting to stress and

its environment,




What was once a seedling,

is now just trying to live.

I relate to the cycle.

Life is flourishing

all around us.

This is a jalapeño plant we’ve been growing this year. We’re new to gardening, but hoping to grow more every year!

This fresh sweet mint is going to be amazing! Super excited for this beautiful plant!