The 5 Love Languages

The book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman describes five ways that people give and receive love. The five love languages are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch.

Words of Affirmation is expressing love through spoken words, rather than action. This can be spoken affection like saying “I love you” or words of praise or appreciation like “I’m proud of you” or “Thanks for making dinner.”

Gifts are physical depictions of affection. This can be something like getting roses or jewelry

Acts of Service is the expression of love through activities like lending a helping hand, cooking, cleaning, etc.

Quality Time is when someone feels loved the most through their partner’s undivided attention. Something as simple as putting down the phone when talking to someone is an example of quality time. It is the lack of distraction when interacting with someone you love. 

Physical Touch is expressing love physically by hugging, kissing, sex, etc.

Take the quiz to see what your love language is here.

 

I took the quiz and my top two love languages were Quality Time and Acts of Service.

I totally agree with my results. Before taking the quiz, I assumed my love language would be acts of service, simply because I know how excited I get when my fiancé does things like helps me make dinner or clean our room. Things like washing dishes and doing laundry are such a drag in our household, and I’m usually the one that gets stuck doing it. With a new baby in the house, it’s soooo hard to stay on top of everything. It’s especially meaningful to me when I get a helping hand to get chores done around the house.

I can also see how my top love language is quality time. Dylan and I do a pretty good job at making time for one another. We do things like take showers together and listen to music, which are things we do without any distraction from anything or anyone else. I have been known to get upset when he looks at his phone while I’m talking to him or when he doesn’t take interest in what I am excited about. That is a perfect example of how knowing your partner’s love language can help in keeping a healthy relationship.

 Although all five love languages are important in a relationship, most people can identify with one or two as their highest form of feeling affection. It is important to understand you and your partner’s love language. Gary Chapman believes that learning you and your partner’s love language is the key to having a long-lasting, happy relationship.

 

Here are some quotes from “The 5 Love Languages”:

“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?” We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” 

“What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”

“Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love.” 

Learn more about Gary Chapman’s book and the five love languages here.

Buy the book on Amazon here.

Have you read this book? What is your love language? I’m curious to hear from you guys! Drop a comment below!!! 🥰🥰🥰