My Thoughts on Afghanistan

13 American Servicemembers were killed last Thursday.

13 families’ lives changed forever.

I can’t really bring myself to come up with the right words to say because I am just so heartbroken. I can’t relate to going overseas, but I do remember what it was like to join the military.

The excitement for new opportunities and experiences.

The pride of serving a country that so many people love.

The smooth arrogance of feeling like people look up to you.

Every person that takes that oath, myself included, expects to come home in a casket with a flag draped over it.

I met some damn good people while in the military. I’m proud of the time I spent and the things I did. I could never imagine my story ending like this.

Neither did they.

And to have a president that didn’t protect them.

I’m angry. I am terribly sad. I am disappointed.

Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone will be held accountable for these 13 lives that should’ve never been lost.

I’ve looked through their pictures and read their families words about them. I feel as if it’s going to haunt me for quite some time. America just feels more and more hopeless these days.

EOD Thoughts: 01.25.2021

Today went by fast

But the weekend felt long

I had drill this weekend (Army stuff), so I didn’t really have a weekend of rejuvenation

Kinda wishin I did

I’m so ready for my contract to be up in August

I’ve been counting the days for five years now

I’m on the final stretch… 2021, behave yourself at least until August……

7 more months!

I’ve been waiting for 2021 to come for five years now, not just since the pandemic came and made us all wish 2020 away.

My Army contract comes to an end in mid August and I cannot even come close to putting that feeling of relief and excitement into words.

I’ve had some really unique experiences, met some great people, and made a lot of cool memories, but I’m READY to close this chapter of my life.

This weekend was our drill weekend so I was in the office yesterday and today. Seems a bit crazy to me to get Soldiers from all over the state to come unite in one of the worst outbreak areas in the entire state, but it’s the military so it is what it is. Most of our unit drilled virtually online but my job is in the office so here I sit.

I’m proud of my time served, but I didn’t have a family when I enlisted and I know that this is no longer the journey I want to continue once it’s done.

Seven more months.

I’m home!!

I made it home to my family Wednesday afternoon!

I appreciate all of your guys’ encouragement and kind thoughts. Writing was truly the most therapeutic thing I had while away from my family for the last six weeks. That aspect of this craft is the reason why I made this page and why my love for writing and language is still very true and lasting. We are blessed that we are the people who can string words together in a well-thought pattern and not only bring others feelings of pain or happiness, but also we can feel great comfort and therapy through our words.

I’m thankful for so much in this life. And you, my followers, are one of the things I’m thankful for as well. It’s satisfying to know that someone read my words, followed my story, and cheered for me from afar.

But when it’s all said and done, I’m back to where I belong. Home sweet home.

The Home Stretch

Today I am feeling soooo thankful!

So as I’ve mentioned before, my National Guard unit was activated to run a Coronavirus testing site for the last month and a half, and today I have finished the final step towards going home besides out-processing!

So when we came onto this mission, we were told at the end of it we would be tested for the virus twice before we would be able to go home. The first test was on the day that we finished working at the actual test site, and then we were tested again ten days later. So I was tested again yesterday and I got the call at 8:30 this morning that I was negative. So I am READYYYY to go home and I’m assured that I’m not taking any sickness home with me!!

Now we still have to wait for the state’s clearance and do paperwork, so I’ll still be here at least until the 24th, but I can finally see the light at the end of a very long tunnel! The nights of restlessness and mornings of sh*tty hotel coffee are almost over!

I am thankful for this experience although it has been difficult being away from my family for so long. I got to see and perform pandemic test practices done in real time. I heard stories from people who lost loved ones to the virus, and got to meet high ranking military officials and the governor of our state. It has taught me how much I value family time and appreciate being a mom. Although it isn’t always easy and I’m often stressed more than I’d like to be, I truly do miss my motherly duties. The time away, as hard as it’s been, has allowed me to relax (in terms of not living life so fast and always being on the go, go, go!) and reflect.

FOUR MORE DAYS & I’M HOME BOUNDDDDD!!

11 Days

UPDATE 🙂

I’ve been gone from home since May 12th working at a Coronavirus testing site with my Army National Guard unit. Of the five years I’ve been enlisted in the military, this was the first time we had ever been called to duty. I’m thankful for that now since I’ve got a family. My life was much different when I joined back in 2015. I had gone to college for a semester right after graduating high school and I didn’t know what degree I wanted to pursue (Still don’t), so with a ton of support from my family I joined the military. It was something I had wanted to do for awhile, but I knew that going active duty wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I finished my training in October of 2016 and came back to Illinois to start my journey. At that time, I had no kids and had just started dating my now fiancee.

Now I’ve got a beautiful baby girl and a wonderful fiancee and it makes being in the military so much harder. I know a month isn’t a long time in the grand scheme of things, but being away from the family that I built and created is harder than I thought it would be. There are days here where the hours barely go by.

As hard as it has been being away, this experience hasn’t been all bad. I hang my hat on the fact that we were called up to be on the front-lines of a global pandemic. I joined the military so that I could help people, and that is exactly what we are doing by being here.

Being here has given me the opportunity to do the things that I made the excuse of never having time for when I was back home. In my free time, I have been able to dive into my writing and I’ve already started work on a book that I plan to publish some day in the future.

I workout every single day and I can already see it paying off. My legs have toned up and the skin that is loose on my belly since my C-section has started to tighten back up.  I’ve created the healthy habit of working out daily and I’m down ten pounds since I last weighed myself!

I sometimes go for walks downtown and the fresh air and sunshine makes me feel a little bit better. It’s not home, but it makes me feel a little bit better while I’m away.

It is finally starting to feel like the end is near. I should be going home in 11 days!! I’m trying to remain positive and enjoy sleeping in while I can (You don’t get to do that with a 1.5 year old at home!). I’m hoping these days fly by and I will be reunited with my family very soon! ❤️

Day On, Day Off

We are currently working one day on and one day off at the Coronavirus testing site. That may change in the coming days as we are opening a new site tomorrow.

So today is my day off and on these days I lay in bed, watch TV, workout, and miss home. I don’t feel so lonely on the days when we are working at the testing site, but these days off really get me. So much time alone to sit and think about home. I try to read and I sit and try to find inspiration for another blog post. Most days I don’t come up with much.

I’ve been away from home for 10 days now and it is beginning to feel like an eternity. I’ve done okay considering this is the longest I have been away from my daughter, but I recognize that my mental health is declining with every passing day.

I got up and did my hair and makeup to pass time. I feel good when I look good, but now I’m just sitting here wondering what the rest of the day is going to bring. I have friends here, but for the most part I just feel alone.

This is the family that I so dearly miss…

A New Adventure

In August of 2015 I enlisted in the Army National Guard. I had the dream to serve in the military once my great-grandmother told us kids stories about her twin brothers serving in the Navy back in the 1950’s.

It’s been almost five years and I’m really thankful for a lot of the friends and experiences I’ve gained since I made the decision to join.

So now I’m on another military adventure.

My unit was activated to help run a Coronavirus testing site here in the state. I left my daughter and fiancee on the 12th and this is the first time I’ve been away from them for an extended period of time. Right now our orders are through June 24th, but that could always change. My heart hurts looking at pictures of them and I’m just hoping these six weeks fly by so I can get back home and wrap my family in my arms. I’m super blessed to have an amazing fiancee that supports me and picks up the “motherly” slack while I’m away. I got my first paycheck yesterday and I ordered him the banjo he’s been wanting for quite awhile. He’s a talented musician and likes to learn new instruments, so I was excited to buy him that as a big THANK YOU for all he’s doing while I’m away.

The good news is that I should get plenty of time off since we are pretty overstaffed up here. I’ll use my time to dive into my writing and reading some more, so be prepared for more articles coming your way from me!

As always, stay safe and hug your loved ones tight!

💓