Speak POSITIVITY into existence!! ✨✨

Today is going to be a GOOD day. I can just feel it. My spidey senses are tingling and I am feeling oddly optimistic about the day that lies ahead.

I’m back in the office today. Here lately we have only been coming in to the office two days a week, and Mondays and Thursdays are my in-office days.

Easter is Sunday, which means we had a floating holiday to choose which day we wanted off. I chose tomorrow, so today is my Friday! Woo hoo!

I’m taking my daughter and heading to Iowa to see my sister and her daughter. It’s going to be a sister/cousin bonding weekend. I’m pretty excited. Because they live four hours away, we don’t get to see them as much as we’d like to. It’ll be nice to get away, even if it is only just for a day and a half.

Easter Sunday we don’t really have many plans. There aren’t a lot of Easter egg hunts or anything scheduled this year, so it may be a quiet holiday. That works for me – I’ve always got plenty to do at home!

Let’s end this week on a good note! Speak positivity into existence!!

EOD Thoughts: 12.18.2020

It’s currently 11:29pm and I’m sitting here enjoying the last few minutes of December 18th.

Because it’s FINALLY the weekend – Something I’ve deserved since MONDAY, amiright?

I actually am only up right now because I fell asleep with Della on the couch. I didn’t wanna fight bedtime tonight, so I laid with her until we both fell asleep watching cartoons. I woke up, moved her to her bed, and am now relaxin. Dylan is in the garage working on his truck. His drivers side door won’t open and the truck won’t start without a jump, so add that to the list of BS that has smacked down on us in the last WEEK.

I’ve been overwhelmed with work this week and have just felt a bad vibe all week long. I’m hoping the stars realign next week so I can get my spirits back up.

No real big plans for the weekend. We were supposed to have family Christmas tomorrow night, but COVID ruined that too. I’ve remained fairly optimistic and have tried to see the positive of this pandemic since the first lockdowns started, but here lately I’ve just been feeling that optimism get cut thinner and thinner.

I’m ready to do what I want when I want. But I’m afraid I feel we have months to go still, even with a new vaccine. It’s been nine months, but it’s still a new normal. No comfortability in sight.

I’m going to challenge myself to list three good things about this week:

1. My sister has her room downstairs all settled, and it makes me feel good that I’m able to take her in when she needs someone. She seems happier.

2. My daughter never ceases to make me laugh when I need it the most. We had fun this week playing with some new Christmas presents she got. She served me “breakfast” on her new plates this morning.

3. This week was payday. On top of that, our company earned a small bonus for our fourth quarter efforts. Only $100 after taxes, but I’m not complaining! I could fill my car three times with that!

It’s good to challenge yourself to see the good when everything feels so drag. What are some good things that happened to you this week? I need to hear some love from y’all 💓

Oh, hey everyone! It’s me!


Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

The Daughter of an Addict

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about my mother. When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be a very real, personal way for me to talk about my mother’s addiction and how it has affected my life. One of the things I’ve always wanted to do since I was old enough to understand my mother’s addiction, was to travel far and wide, talking to children, and perhaps even families, about what it is like being the daughter of an addict.

If we’re being blunt, that is exactly what I am. And oddly, nowadays I don’t feel ashamed to say it.

There is a difference between acknowledging the cold, hard truth (my mother is an addict) and falling victim to the circumstances (I can’t because my mother is an addict).

And this is exactly why I have no issue with being known as the daughter of an addict.

Never in my life have I allowed who my mother is to impede on the fact that if I want something, I’ll be damned if I don’t go out and try to get it. Never in my life have I allowed who my mother is to control the kind of loving, polite, and moral person that I strive to be. Never in my life have I allowed who my mother is to be the excuse as to why I deserve any less than anybody else.

Awhile back I had put in a job application to a local business. I even went as far as to typing up a cover letter and resume and mailing it in; I just really wanted to work at this place! Anyway, days went by and I hadn’t heard anything, so I decided to check my email. Sure enough, I had an email! I excitedly opened it up to read:

“Thank you so much for your interest in [company name]. I was extremely impressed with your application, resume, and dedication to the application process. You were originally one of my top picks to interview. As part of our screening process, I always check the social media pages of our applicants. My perception of you immediately changed upon viewing your Facebook page. Many of the things you had posted included language and symbols that do not align with [our company] values. For this reason, I had to remove you from the application process. I think that you were a really strong candidate, so I would really encourage you to clean up your page when applying to jobs in the future, as nearly every employer screens social media in this day in age. Thank you again for your interest. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.”

I stood there in absolute awe and anger. I immediately went to my Facebook page, scrolling and scrolling trying to find something inappropriate that I had posted inadvertently. I found nothing. I was in disbelief. What the heck did this woman see on my Facebook page that would disqualify me as an applicant for a job? I was so upset, I had really wanted this job!

Oh no…

Turns out, she didn’t even look at my profile. I immediately got angry at my mother. Our names are the same, so even though I have my Facebook profile name different than hers, the name on my application was the same as her Facebook account. I got on her page and I found what the woman had said was against her company’s policies. It all made sense now.

But now what?

It wasn’t fair that I was suffering the consequences of someone else’s actions, let alone my mom’s. I was even more mad because it seemed like I was always just playing the role of the daughter of someone whom society sees as bad.

I emailed her back.

I explained how she probably didn’t check out the right account, and if she wanted to see mine, she’d have to look under a different name. I apologized, even though I was in no way wrong. I explained how we were no longer in touch and how her page is very different than my own.

I had an interview the very next day.

It seems (and not that I mind too much anymore) that I always end up having to explain to others that I’m the daughter of an addict. One way or another, the story has to come out, and I’m left hoping that the person I’m telling isn’t as judgmental as I feel like some people are.

I wanted to share that little story just to show just how easy it is to be affected by my mother’s actions. I said before that I am unashamed of being the daughter of an addict, but that does not go without saying that it doesn’t have a very big impact on my life. I am not completely immune to it, even if I am able to admit that it is who I am.

And even though I grew up with a drug addicted mother, does not mean that I will let that change how determined I am to succeed, how hard I choose to love those around me, how well I treat strangers, the energy I put into being a good person, or the attitude I have when I wake up every morning.

You see, I can acknowledge that I am the daughter of an addict. But I don’t have to fall victim to my circumstances.