EOD Thoughts: 06.04.2021

It’s been a minute since I did one of my end-of-day reflections. There’s no time like the present.

I was previously working on another post, but it was getting too deep and required too much thought for this late at night. So I clicked SAVE DRAFT on that baby and came to write something a bit lighter.

Let’s just do a quick tally of some of the things I learned this week:

  1. My cat will hangout with me while I work from home if I close my bedroom door so she’s forced to be in the same room as me (She hates it when I do this; she’ll sleep on my bed all day long if I leave the door open).
  2. Scentsy products don’t actually keep their scent for that long.
  3. I feel less confident when I feel like I’m being overlooked. I see myself through a lens of high expectation, so I want to feel appreciated, listened to, and capable. I tend to shut down when I feel like my worth is being reduced, because I see myself as an amazing employee.
  4. Kids grow up QUICK, man. My daughter is 2 going on 16. The amount of attitude that a 2 year old is capable of flaunting would make your head spin. She brings the heat sometimes.
  5. Sometimes you’ve got to set one goal really high and take it really slow. Success is not measured by how fast you get there, just as long as you get there.
  6. Being pregnant with your first child is much easier. Chasing a toddler while pregnant with the second is a lot harder!

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Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

Eight Hours

It feels like along time when you’ve got to work that long each day to make a living.

But today has gone so fast, and all I’ve done is lie on the couch.

I woke up this morning feeling fine. I showered, got Della ready for daycare, and as I was standing at the mirror doing my makeup I felt something come over me. I became light-headed and felt faint. I immediately went to my bed and called Dylan. He is so good at talking to me and calming me. He walked me through some slow breathing and I started to feel a bit better.

I took Della to daycare and as I was getting her out of the car I realized that I had forgotten her diaper bag. Mom fail. I had to drive back home, grab her bag, and take it back to daycare. My hands were shaky and I was feeling so weak, so I decided it best to take a sick day and stay home and relax.

So here I’ve been. Sitting on the couch because I feel too weak to even walk across the house. Not sure what it is, but I’m playing it safe.

Crazy to think that a work day’s length is much shorter when you aren’t at work.

Remembering what I’m thankful for

I’ve been sitting here for the last few hours trying to think of something to write about. I had a few lines of poetry flowing in and out of my head, but I don’t like to publish forced work. So instead, I’m just going to reflect on some things in my life that I’m thankful for. I haven’t made one of these lists in awhile, but it’s good to reflect on the good in our lives while in the midst of so much going on.

These are in no specific order.

1. I’m thankful for my beautiful daughter, Della Rae. She is going to make an excellent big sister and she makes being a mother the greatest title ever.

2. My loving fiancé Dylan. He is the best father and BEST pregnancy partner I could have ever dreamed of. Always thankful for our many adventures and how we support one another and learn together through parenthood.

3. I have only two more drills left in the US Army! I’m counting down the days until the end of my contract in August.

4. We are buying our first home! Something that we can call and create our own! We have finally reached the point where we can provide ourselves and our children with a place that seems to have been built for us. It’s exciting to provide for our family in ways we’ve only dreamed of for so very long.

5. Good health. Our friends and family are healthy and that’s always something that can change in an instant.

6. I’ve still got a full time job and bi-weekly paychecks coming in. I’ve got health insurance and paid time off that I can use – a blessing many cannot claim in today’s economy.

7. A healthy pregnancy. We find out the gender next month and thankfully the nausea that wrecked me for weeks has seemingly subsided. We are excited to complete our family!

So much more comes to mind, but that would be listing the many people in my life that mean so very much to me. I’m thankful for all of my friends and family.

It’s OK to evolve

I spend too much time on Facebook. But I also use social media apps to come up with new content to write about. I use a lot of quotes and read a lot of stories online that help me ground my beliefs into something that I can share in a progressive way.

This morning I was scrolling Facebook when I saw a photo that really hit me. It opened my eyes, if you will, to how much my life has turned out to be different than I ever had planned. I realized that what I once thought success looked like, isn’t what I would consider it to be now. My interests have changed, I’ve ended and created new relationships, and I’ve tested my own beliefs. I’ve overcome pain, welcomed new joy, and sought out different forms of happiness. Things I used to think I wanted are no longer even in the fore front of my life. I’ve evolved. Changed. Learned.

And it’s totally okay.

It’s okay to not stick to a plan. It’s okay to feel like you’re letting yourself down, because someday you may just find out that the old disappointment you felt was only a stepping stone to something that is much more fulfilling.

Life will work out exactly as it’s supposed to. Focus on being the happiest version of yourself and you’ll never have to worry about if you chose the right path. Life is about so much more than wealth. It’s about relationships and memories and happiness and so much more. It’s important to lead a life that you will be proud of. Even if your views change along the way.

EOD Thoughts: 03.23.2021

When we were kids, my uncle would take all of us out to the garage to watch a big storm roll by. We just so happened to live south of what seemed to always be the path of the storms. So we would get our lawn chairs and flip cell phones out and have a fun night.

Times were so much more simple back then. We would laugh from the adrenaline running through our bodies – being so close to a storm yet so far away, you never know what could happen. We would gather around the weather radio and listen to where the rotation of a tornado was spotted. The garage was facing the right direction to see the storm go by and not have rain blowing in on you. There were no true worries back then. Those were the nights we were the closest. Those were the nights we came together. I wish I could get those childhood memories back. Now we’ve all grown up, split apart, and started our own families.

Tonight my own little fam sat in the garage and listened to the radio forecasts and watched the storm roll in. It was nothing too serious, but it did make me feel happy to share memories like this with the family I made. It connected me to my roots, and I’m thankful.

“I wish somebody would tell you you’re in the good ol’ days before you’ve actually left them.”

Finally… Sunshine!

It’s almost 60° out today. I can sense winter’s slow goodbye.

We needed the Vitamin D today so we are getting what we can while braving the thick mud from the wetness left behind from freshly melted snow. I don’t have a jacket on, but my turtleneck is perfect. The air is a bit cold, still, as my fingers are getting stiff as I type this.

We all need some sunshine right now I think. The hope for 2021 strengthens as the sun gets more direct. There’s nothing like the power of it.

Hello, sun. I’ve missed you.

Finally… Sunshine!

It’s almost 60° out today. I can sense winter’s slow goodbye.

We needed the Vitamin D today so we are getting what we can while braving the thick mud from the wetness left behind from freshly melted snow. I don’t have a jacket on, but my turtleneck is perfect. The air is a bit cold, still, as my fingers are getting stiff as I type this.

We all need some sunshine right now I think. The hope for 2021 strengthens as the sun gets more direct. There’s nothing like the power of it.

Hello, sun. I’ve missed you.

EOD Thoughts: 02.05.2021

I am glad another week has come and gone. Hello, weekend.

Not that I have any plans, but it’s nice to not have to work and spend time with family.

Friends are few and far between when you’re a young mom.

I’m going to be 25 this year, so I’m not really all that young to be a mom, but it still shocks me how immature a lot of people my age are. But then again, I matured at a really young age.

I’m hoping with time, the people that are meant to stay in my life pop up. Because I’m tired of feeling like I have no friends that understand and accept the mom life. I can’t party every weekend and I don’t want to do that anymore.

I need some girlfriends that just wanna lay in bed with a bottle of wine and complain about how exhausting our kids are.

Because goodness, they are exhausting.

Some things aren’t meant to be…

It’s the hardest lesson to learn because it’s always something that you have to learn the hard way.

Maybe it’s just timing.

But maybe it’s just not supposed to happen at all?

You don’t get to know right away.

And in some cases, it may take you your entire life to even realize it…

The brutality of accepting that you can’t have what you want is painful.

It hurts.

But someday…

You’ll accept that your life is happening just as it is supposed to.

There are ups.

And there are downs.

Some things are meant to be.

And some aren’t.

But either way, you can get through it.

“Say Something” by A Great Big World

“Say something, I’m giving up on you

I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I’m giving up on you

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

Anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

And anywhere, I would have followed you
Ooh, ooh say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something”

Source: MusixmatchSongwriters: Campbell Mike / Axel Ian / Campbelle MikeSay Something lyrics © Reservoir 416, Ian Axel Music, Chad Vaccarino Publishing, Manhattan Astronaut Music, Songs Of Universal Inc.