Let Yourself Love

Love is weird.

Whether we want to believe it or not, love can make us give up bits and pieces of who we are and give them to the person whom we love.

Sometimes that’s a good thing, and sometimes it’s not.

You see, I’m the type of person to completely give myself away to the person that has captured my heart. A guaranteed ten times out of ten, I will put my lover’s needs, interests, and wants ahead of my own. That may be my biggest character flaw. I am so willing to go above and beyond for someone as an attempt to show them that I care. However, not everyone gives themselves away so freely. Others are much more rough, like rocks hanging onto a cliff as the wind blows against them. The wind can blow and blow, and some of those rocks will never release themselves to the ground below.

Sometimes the “ground” is scary. We don’t know what is going to happen once we let ourselves go. How far is the drop? How bad will it hurt?

I’ve always been quick to let myself fall. I see love as something you make; something you work at rather than coast through. When you coast, sometimes you forget the things that are really important and disregard how your actions are affecting those around you. I don’t believe love stays once you’re in it. I think it takes continuous reflection and change.  I don’t think once you fall in love that you will always be in love, unless you are willing to give bits and pieces of yourself away.

I know it sounds scary, but I see it differently.

Of course, trusting someone with the depths of your heart is frightening.

However, I have had the love that has shown me that it is not always that way.

I have had the love that makes me yearn for morning light so that he will awaken and we can start a new adventure. I have had the love where he knows the instant something is going to break my heart. I have had the love that not only fulfills me, but also betters me. I have had the love that makes complete silence not so lonely.

None of that amazing, lightning-fueled love would be possible without giving parts of myself away.

I’m not saying giving yourself away is all roses and butterflies, either.

I have had the love that makes me want to bury my face into a pillow and scream for hours straight. I have had the love that makes me lose all motivation to do anything with anyone. I have also had the love that leaves a horrible pain in my chest; so bad I can barely breathe.

None of that hurt makes me believe it all wasn’t worth it.

Yes, it’s hard to love. It’s hard to trust. It’s hard to rely on the hope that love will never end.

Sometimes love does end…

But if you love hard enough, sometimes it’s all worth it. 

I think back on some of my happiest days. I see tents and bonfires and football games and roadtrips and lakes and sunsets. The list goes on and on…

I have had some incredible memories due to the fact that I jumped on the horse and let myself love HARD. I’m not saying that everyone deserves a chance at your heart. All I’m saying is that you deserve, YOU DESERVE, a chance to find crazy, beautiful love. Don’t let the idea of giving yourself to the wrong person take that chance away from you.

You deserve love where your partner completes you. I can think of so many instances where he was just better than me. I could be doing something as simple as cleaning out the fridge. He would come in and ask to do it instead, leaving me to wonder what I could have possibly been doing wrong while rearranging the fridge. And sure enough, there he was doing it just… better. For everything I couldn’t do, he was just better. And that completed me!

It’s strange that I think of rearranging a fridge as a monument of great love, but I do. Because even simple things like that bring a smile to my face as I reflect on the incredible love that I have experienced. I hope you are willing to give yourself away to someone that is better at rearranging the fridge than you are. Because you deserve the love that makes you appreciate a simple life 😊

Open Your Eyes

There is so much beauty in the world

You just have to open your eyes to see it

Get off the phone

Go outside

Look around

Admire the way the leaves move in the wind

Watch the squirrels chase one another

Smell the cool, brisk air

Admire Mother Nature in all her glory

There is so much more to life

Than refreshing online feeds

Let’s converse deeply

Let’s seek understanding

Let’s love harder

Let’s open our eyes

Blogging: A Beginner’s Thoughts

I have sat at this computer nearly all day reading other peoples’ blogs trying to find inspiration on what to write about. Still, as I sit here typing this, I have nothing. As a beginner at this whole “blogging” thing, (as I’m sure you all have) I’m struggling with trying to come up with something that other people will want to read. I just came to the conclusion that I DON’T CARE about what everyone else thinks a blog should be. I’ve watched YouTube videos from famous bloggers giving their advice on how to be successful at blogging and I’ve also looked through countless websites on issues that could be appealing to readers. Screw that. This website is mine, and I can write about whatever I please!

I’m still relatively new to this, but before I become obsessed with trying to write about what I think others want to hear, I want to remind myself and others that a blog belongs to the writer. We all started the blogging process for different reasons. For me, I wanted an outlet that I could express my thoughts and share my story with people from around the world. And what an amazing concept that is! We have the power at the tip of our fingers to put our thoughts onto a canvas for anyone and everyone that wants to read it. I have always considered myself to be a naturally eloquent writer, and now I have the perfect opportunity to share what I love to do with people that have the same interest. Maybe I’m a nerd, but I think that is absolutely incredible!

I graduated high school in 2015 and from there I did a semester at Eastern Illinois University before I enlisted in the Army National Guard. I did my military training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina from May to October of 2016. I returned back home to Illinois and decided to continue my education. Currently, I’m attending John Wood Community College and I will graduate this May with an Associate of the Arts. From there? I have absolutely no idea! I still have two more years of school before I achieve my goal of a Bachelor’s degree. College is a long, expensive investment in the United States, so I want to make sure I don’t waste any time in studying something that I won’t be happy doing. That’s part of the reason I decided to try out blogging in a more consistent way. I think blogging can teach anyone more about themselves, especially if you just sit down and put your feelings and thoughts onto the page.

As part of my blogging experience, my goal is to talk to new people from all over the world. I’ve always had a fascination with learning about new cultures and how people live their everyday lives in other countries. That being said, I’d love to hear from some of you fellow bloggers out there in the WordPress world! Feel free to leave a comment introducing yourself in the comment section of this post. I can’t wait to hear from some of you and learn along the way!

My advice:

Don’t try too hard. Everyone’s pace is different. If you aren’t comfortable feeling like you have to post something everyday, don’t. Wait until you have something worthwhile and meaningful to you before you try to force words onto the screen. However, sometimes it’s fun to just sit down with no leads, type whatever pops into your head, and see what it turns into. Everyone’s style is different, so we shouldn’t feel like we have to conform to what our idea of a “good blog” is. Let your personality and style be revealed through your work!

Don’t be afraid to try something new! I think some bloggers feel as if they have to stick to one topic. I think that’s crazy! We all evolve throughout life and our interests change! Write about the things that you care about most, regardless of if you think others will like it. Having passion is hard to come by. Like I said before, you’re the writer, so own it!