Thoughts of a Lost Girl

My, oh my. I have so much running through my head every single day. That’s not so different than everyone in the world, I’m sure. We all have wandering minds, it’s human nature. What’s different about me is that I can’t get it to stop. I lay in bed every night worrying about so many things that I just end up staring into the dark abyss for hours before finally drifting into unconsciousness.

I wish it would stop. I’m tired of feeling like I have no confidence in who I am as a person, what I look like on the outside, and what others perceive me as.

To be honest, I don’t tell anyone about what I’m feeling. I spend a good majority of everyday alone, and I don’t know if that is a part of the problem or something that makes me feel better about my insecurities. I have a hard time being alone. I like the quiet atmosphere, but most times I just end up overthinking about all that’s going on.

My relationship is in a rough patch. He wants to move out of our home to live by himself. Where will I go? What does this mean?

I graduate from community college in May, and I still haven’t decided what degree path I want to pursue. Do I continue school or find work until I figure it out?

This is only a brief description of what I’m going through. I want to say more, but I cannot figure out the words to write. I’m completely and utterly lost in my own life right now.

I hope all of this cools down and I can figure things out.

xoxo *fingers crossed*


An Argument Against Incarcerating Drug Addicts

I was originally assigned to write an argumentative essay in my composition class last semester, and I thought here would be a great place to share what I found. Drug abuse in the United States is a huge problem. If we have any intent to change this epidemic, we need to stop incarcerating drug addicts with no treatment or rehabilitation to help fix their problems.

Did you know that 60% of adults in federal prisons are serving their time for drug-related crimes? Did you know that on average, substance abuse costs our nation over 484 billion dollars every year? Did you know that there are more people with some sort of substance abuse problem than there are people with cancer? To be exact, there are 1.5 times more substance abusers than people with all cancers combined.

To make an educated decision on this matter, you must first understand just how big of a problem drug use is in the United States. For starters, most drug users try drugs for the first time as teenagers.

In 2013, the National Institute on Drug Abuse reported that there were about 2.8 million new illicit drug abusers, and 54.1% of these abusers were under the age of eighteen.

With this information, I’ve come up with a key question: Is incarcerating someone this young going to increase the chances of them doing something worse once released? I’ll leave that for you to think about yourself. Aside from that, 460,000 deaths were associated with the use of illicit drugs in 2000. According to a 2013 survey from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, nearly 24.6 million Americans reported that they had used an illicit drug in the past month. That is nearly 9.4% of America’s population! 80% of crimes committed that led to incarceration in the US involved drugs or alcohol, and 60% of Americans arrested for any crime tested positive for illicit drugs at the time of arrest. Still not convinced?

More people use prescription opioids in the United States than use tobacco.

Not only is drug abuse a national health crisis, it also has a tremendous effect on economic productivity and the way we spend our money. In healthcare costs, costs to the justice system, and lost economic productivity, substance abuse disorders cost Americans 484 billion dollars every year. That’s far more than the annual cost to treat diabetes! The problem with drug abuse goes even further. Substance abuse also contributes to America’s top social problems, such as violence, child abuse, homelessness, and crime. Nearly half of the people arrested for homicide, theft, or assault were under the influence of illegal drugs. Two-thirds of those in drug abuse rehab centers reported that they were sexually abused as adolescents, and 31% of homeless people in America are addicted to drugs or alcohol. It cannot be argued that there is not a problem with illicit drug use in our country.

We often times may think that locking up drug offenders is the best option, but what really happens to drug addicts once they get out of prison?

The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the entire world.

In 2009, the United States’ prison population exceeded 2.3 million people. That’s more than a quarter of the world’s prisoners. In fact, more than half of all Americans that are serving time in prison are there for nonviolent crimes, such as drug-related offenses. On top of that, more than five million people are on some sort of supervision such as parole or probation. This correlates to one in every 31 adults in the United States is in prison, jail, or some sort of supervised release.

40% of felony probationers are rearrested for a new felony within three years of their release to supervision.

The statistics prove that incarceration does not help drug addicts or prevent them from committing crimes after release. We are foolish to think that locking these people up is a solution to the drug crisis that is happening in our country.  Nearly 95% of addicts that get incarcerated will return to drug abuse after their release from prison, and anywhere from 60-80% of these addicts commit new crimes.

There is no doubt that incarceration is ineffective in preventing drug addicts from returning to the habits that got them incarcerated in the first place. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, approximately 77% of drug offenders get arrested for a new offense within five years of their release from prison.

Substance abuse disorders have a significant effect on the brain. They affect a person’s ability to make good decisions, responses to stressful situations, and the reward circuits within the brain. Nonetheless, addiction should be treated with the same compassion and urgency as any other disease. Imprisonment does not address the problem that underlies criminal behavior.

In our country’s prisons, 65% of inmates fit the diagnosis of addiction, yet only 11% of these individuals actually receive any sort of rehabilitation or treatment.

Not only are incarcerated addicts not being treated, those that are, aren’t getting adequate rehabilitation. A majority of those that are in charge of these programs don’t care about the program that they are in charge of. If we are serious about rehabilitating drug-addicted criminals (that also want to make the change), we have to offer them a good support network. After completing the poor drug recovery program that is offered in America’s prisons, they are then released back into general population where they can then be exposed to drugs that are smuggled into the prison. Ultimately, any progress that they may have gained from the program is lost.

So what is the solution? I will be the first to agree with the argument that drug addicts that commit crimes deserve to be punished for those crimes. That being said, we can do better to rehabilitate those offenders so that upon their release from incarceration, they can be productive members of society that are much less likely to return to crime or drugs. In the long run, drug rehabilitation of criminals would save Americans thousands of dollars.  In 2006, the annual cost to incarcerate someone was anywhere from $24,000-$40,000. Multiply that by the 2.3 million inmates in America’s prisons, and the annual overall cost is STAGGERING. Since we’re talking money, let me make my argument even stronger.

Out of every tax dollar spent by the government on drug abuse, only 1.9 cents are spent on addiction prevention and treatment.

If we put in the time, money, and effort into proper, satisfactory treatment, the number of repeat offenders would go down; therefore, saving the government money. Initial drug treatment is much cheaper than incarceration and fewer arrests leads to lower court costs, the list of benefits goes on and on. If just 40% of addicted prisoners were given treatment instead of jail, the savings could be nearly 12.9 billion dollars. We need to give addicts the option to receive a thorough treatment. If not in place of a prison sentence, then along with their prison sentence.

There are also prevention methods we can use on adolescents that can help prevent even the experimentation with drugs, in hopes that future incarceration is not likely. These methods include teaching kids healthy ways to deal with everyday stress instead of resulting to substances to cope. Stress is one of the biggest reasons anyone turns to drug use in the first place. We can also teach today’s youth effective ways of refusing illicit drugs when offered them.

In conclusion, I want to personally address an opposing argument that often comes up in the discussion of whether or not addicted offenders deserve proper rehabilitation after committing a non-violent crime. Many people are likely to jump the gun and say things like, “Drug addicts are breaking the law and deserve to be punished” or “People that do drugs are going to commit crimes.” Whereas sometimes those statements prove to be true, there is a deeper issue that needs to be confronted. How many families in the US are directly affected by substance abuse? I haven’t done the research to answer this powerful question, but I want to answer it with an eye-opening personal experience that tells why I am so passionate about the topic in which I am writing. In 2002, I was taken from my mother by Child Protective Services because of her addiction to illicit drugs and alcohol. My mother has struggled with her disease my entire life, and to this day I still do not have much of a relationship with the woman that gave birth to me. She has been in and out of federal prisons ever since. The course of my life since the day we were separated has changed substantially, as you can probably imagine. Reflecting on the result that her addiction has had on me, I have just one grudge. Had she been given proper rehabilitation upon her first stint with the law and the use of illicit drugs, I could have been reunited with the woman I so dearly want to know. Because of the lack of treatment and care for her disease, my family was left torn and without a woman that truly is a good person when not under the influence of hard drugs.

We are wrong to assume that drug addicts are bad people.

They are mothers, fathers, aunts, brothers, daughters, and friends.

They deserve love, compassion, and for someone to aid in and believe in their recovery.

America has got it backwards on how we deal with substance abuse, and we can do better.


Information and statistics found in this article can be found at:


30 Deep-Thought Writing Prompts

Sometimes it’s hard to come up with something good to write about. I’ve compiled a list of topics that will get your mind flowin’!


  1. Write a letter to your parents.
  2. If you could spend a day with anyone in the world, past or present, who would it be and why?
  3. Who is your hero? How have they inspired you?
  4. What advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?
  5. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
  6. Rank what you think the most important character traits a person can have from most valuable to least (honesty, happiness, love, commitment, faithfulness, empathy, compassion, forgiving, etc.)
  7. Describe a memory that made you feel alive.
  8. Write a letter to your ex.
  9. Write an apology to someone you might owe it to.
  10. Find a picture that makes you feel happy. Pretend you are describing the picture to someone that can’t see it.
  11. What is your biggest fear and why?
  12. What are your biggest goals in life? How will you reach them?
  13. What is something you would like to confess?
  14. What is your favorite quote? What does it mean to you and how do you apply it to your life?
  15. Write about your biggest fears.
  16. Make a list of all the things that make you smile.
  17. Describe the moment in your life that made you feel the saddest.
  18. If you could be in any TV show, who would your character be and what show?
  19. Describe the things you did in your childhood and who you did them with.
  20. If you could change just one thing in your life, what would it be?
  21. Describe your dream job.
  22. What is one thing you would do if you knew you wouldn’t fail at it?
  23. Write a review for your favorite movie or book.
  24. What are the things that you do for enjoyment or to relax?
  25. Describe what you think someone else sees when they look at you for the first time.
  26. Do you believe in a god? Why or why not?
  27. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
  28. What is the meaning of success?
  29. What was the moment that made you feel the most accomplished?
  30. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I hope this list helps you get a good idea of something to write about! If you have some good prompts of your own, drop ’em in the comments!

Blogging: A Beginner’s Thoughts


I have sat at this computer nearly all day reading other peoples’ blogs trying to find inspiration on what to write about. Still, as I sit here typing this, I have nothing. As a beginner at this whole “blogging” thing, (as I’m sure you all have) I’m struggling with trying to come up with something that other people will want to read. I just came to the conclusion that I DON’T CARE about what everyone else thinks a blog should be. I’ve watched YouTube videos from famous bloggers giving their advice on how to be successful at blogging and I’ve also looked through countless websites on issues that could be appealing to readers. Screw that. This website is mine, and I can write about whatever I please!

I’m still relatively new to this, but before I become obsessed with trying to write about what I think others want to hear, I want to remind myself and others that a blog belongs to the writer. We all started the blogging process for different reasons. For me, I wanted an outlet that I could express my thoughts and share my story with people from around the world. And what an amazing concept that is! We have the power at the tip of our fingers to put our thoughts onto a canvas for anyone and everyone that wants to read it. I have always considered myself to be a naturally eloquent writer, and now I have the perfect opportunity to share what I love to do with people that have the same interest. Maybe I’m a nerd, but I think that is absolutely incredible!

I graduated high school in 2015 and from there I did a semester at Eastern Illinois University before I enlisted in the Army National Guard. I did my military training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina from May to October of 2016. I returned back home to Illinois and decided to continue my education. Currently, I’m attending John Wood Community College and I will graduate this May with an Associate of the Arts. From there? I have absolutely no idea! I still have two more years of school before I achieve my goal of a Bachelor’s degree. College is a long, expensive investment in the United States, so I want to make sure I don’t waste any time in studying something that I won’t be happy doing. That’s part of the reason I decided to try out blogging in a more consistent way. I think blogging can teach anyone more about themselves, especially if you just sit down and put your feelings and thoughts onto the page.

As part of my blogging experience, my goal is to talk to new people from all over the world. I’ve always had a fascination with learning about new cultures and how people live their everyday lives in other countries. That being said, I’d love to hear from some of you fellow bloggers out there in the WordPress world! Feel free to leave a comment introducing yourself in the comment section of this post. I can’t wait to hear from some of you and learn along the way!

My advice:

Don’t try too hard. Everyone’s pace is different. If you aren’t comfortable feeling like you have to post something everyday, don’t. Wait until you have something worthwhile and meaningful to you before you try to force words onto the screen. However, sometimes it’s fun to just sit down with no leads, type whatever pops into your head, and see what it turns into. Everyone’s style is different, so we shouldn’t feel like we have to conform to what our idea of a “good blog” is. Let your personality and style be revealed through your work!

Don’t be afraid to try something new! I think some bloggers feel as if they have to stick to one topic. I think that’s crazy! We all evolve throughout life and our interests change! Write about the things that you care about most, regardless of if you think others will like it. Having passion is hard to come by. Like I said before, you’re the writer, so own it!