A Letter to A Soon-To-Be Mom

Today I write in honor of a beautiful friend of mine that will welcome her first baby into the world in just three short days. I remember how short the days felt leading up to my induction date. Ever since I was a child, my biggest fear was always childbirth. It sounds almost silly now that I have experienced childbirth, but before you experience it yourself, there is no amount of comfort or ease anyone can offer. I do not write this to promise any sense of comfort, because I know it is a scary road that lies before you. I felt the same way and there was no amount of advice any mother could offer that made me feel any more assured.

So instead, I want to write about the amazing, incredible things that you will learn about who you are as a result of creating a life and welcoming it to the world.

 

Becoming a mother will bring out strength you didn’t even know you had.  There will be days that make you feel defeated, tired, stressed. But there is no day that will ever be stronger than you. Even when you think you’ve reached your limit, your motherly instincts and passion will overcome any obstacle. Every. Single. Time. You are far stronger than you think, even though you may not feel like it.

You were never truly complete until you met your child. You will look back on the days before you became a mom and think, ‘How did I ever feel scared to be a mom? This is exactly who I am supposed to be.’ Your confidence will go up, even though you may feel like you have no clue what you are doing. You will finally feel like all is right in the world and all the extra bullshit just doesn’t matter anymore.

The human body is incredible! Yeah, we may not always love what we see in the mirror, but the one thing that I have tried to embrace is just how amazing the human body is. One single egg grew into a human life and grew for nine months inside of you. Your organs rearranged themselves to make room for that beautiful baby. Your body stretched, squeezed, and grew. And it will continue to change in the coming months. Watch and enjoy it – You are spectating science from the front row. Try to embrace all the things that your body can do!!

 

I am not going to tell you it will be easy. It won’t be. You will be tested… But you will not fail. You will be tired… But you will not consider quitting. You will have doubts… But you will be very sure in what needs to be done. 

 

Maddi,

I remember the first time you walked into our house. A timid, beautiful high school girl with curly brown hair that laid on your shoulders. You walked with shoulders forward because I wasn’t very nice when we first met. But I grew to know you and realized I was wrong about the high school girl that was coming to my house. You were so full of knowledge, wonder, and confidence. You were not shy about what you expected out of those around you. You had a laugh that would everyone in the room smile. I never would have guessed that I would one day consider you my best friend, let alone be so excited to meet the life that you would one day create. I am so proud to call you my friend and so excited to see you become a mother. I know you are scared and I know you have been overwhelmed, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will be everything and more for our little Indie girl. After all, you will have all the love, support, and advice spewing from my heart. 

I cannot wait to meet this beautiful babe and I cannot wait to hear you rave about the joys of motherhood.

Love,

Chrissy

22 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter

1. The only person that can ensure your own success is you.

2. The only thing that will ever make you ugly is how you treat other people.

3. Respect isn’t always easily earned, but it is always easily lost.

4. There is nothing you could do that would make me love you any less than I already do.

5. Being rich has nothing to do with money.

6. Don’t accept every apology you receive.

7. Smiling at strangers is a good habit to have.

8. You’ll never wish you ate less ice cream.

9. Don’t let people make you feel bad for dealing with your feelings in a way that helps you heal.

10. Your mental health is more important than any job.

11. You can change any situation by simply changing your mindset of it.

12. It’s okay to get frustrated. It’s not okay to take your frustration out on others.

13. Just because something is a rule, doesn’t mean it’s ethically right.

14. Family isn’t always blood.

15. Don’t break yourself in order to fix someone else.

16. Sometimes silence is more effective than action.

17. Never let honesty be an excuse for disrespect.

18. Grass grows where it is watered.

19. Your mistake isn’t as important as what you do to correct it.

20. There is a difference between a man that flatters you and a man that compliments you.

21. It’s OKAY to tell people NO.

22. Don’t let your kindness be mistaken for weakness.

23 Years of Adventure

Today I am celebrating twenty-three years of life. Twenty-three years of love. Twenty-three years of adventure.

I heard my birth story from my aunt and grandmother a bunch of times growing up. I think mainly because, as they tell it, it was a wild day! My mother was in labor prematurely and it was sometime in the morning when my aunt and grandma took my mother in to the hospital. I don’t know exactly how many weeks early I was born, but they had to life flight my mom from our local hospital to the hospital at the capitol, Springfield. My aunt and grandma tell the story that they actually raced down the interstate to beat the helicopter. They both swear they were in the hospital parking lot when the helicopter landed.

Sometime just after lunch I was born via emergency c-section. My back was actually up against my mother’s abdomen when they cut her open to deliver me, so I have a large scar across my back from where they cut me when performing the c-section. I was so small I wore doll clothes because preemie clothes were too big. I’ve been told it’s a miracle I survived.

But here I am. Flourishing in the sunlight, and dreaming of tomorrow. I have been blessed many times in this life. I do my best to slow down, breathe it in, and enjoy the things that bring me joy. In honor of today, I have made a list of a few of the things that bring me JOY!

1. My beautiful daughter, Della Rae. Her spunky attitude and playful heart brings an overwhelming sense of pride every time I look at her.
2. My handsome fiancé. Dylan’s passion for music and sly rhetoric reminds me that the simplest things in life are the most important. Our love is truly an adventure and I cannot wait to marry him in just over one year!
3. The adrenaline rush that comes when you start to run.
4. Sunrises.
5. My family.
6. Pumpkins patches and autumn weather.
7. Hugs.
8. Hearing “I love you”
9. Good hair days.
10. Singing in the shower and on road trips.
11. The way my keyboard sounds when I type really fast at work.
12. My daughter’s laugh.
13. Hiking and camping.
14. Pay day!
15. Sunday morning snuggles in bed with Della Rae and Dylan
16. Softball and basketball and football and hockey and any sport, really.
17. Blogging and the friends I’ve made through WordPress.
18. Mexican food and margaritas.
19. Friends.
20. Watching Grey’s Anatomy.

Some are silly, some are very common. But all bring me joy and make me enjoy the life that I am living. Today I am celebrating twenty-three years of life. A good life.

I am so very blessed. Here is to a life full of love and adventure!! 🎉🎁🎊

To all the MOMS on World Mental Health Day 🌱

Since the birth of our children, nearly every decision we make will bring us a sense of guilt. Put your baby to bed too early and you feel guilty for not enjoying your time with your baby while they are little. Keep your baby up too late, and you feel guilty that they aren’t getting enough rest. I have struggled with this immensely in the short stint of my experience with motherhood, and I know from many conversations I’ve had with other mothers of children of all ages, it is something that is never going to go away – as much as we wish it would. As mothers, we are under constant scrutiny and watchful eyes from everyone around us. We are criticized on how we feed our child, rather than the fact that the child is being fed at all. We feel the heat of dirty looks in the supermarket when we have a wailing child that we can’t quiet.  We take showers and look down at a body that looked very different just a few short months ago. We smile when you happily say hello to our children, but still feel the pain when you don’t acknowledge our presence with an equal amount of excitement. Do you care about me? Or do you only care about me enough to scrutinize who you think I am as a mother?

Well I will tell you who I am as a mother.

I am now devoted to life of selflessness. I have ran to the bathroom, cried out in overwhelming frustration, wiped my eyes, and returned back to my family with no one even noticing the crack of defeat I have hidden from my face. I have spent late nights worrying, planning, anticipating, and preparing. I love selflessly and whole-heartedly.

On my toughest days, I close my eyes and face the sky waiting for nature to give me strength… She always does.

I am persistent and I am determined. Even though there are times I feel like I might break under all of the pressure, the sun falls and rises, and so do I.

I am passionate. Passionate about my child. Passionate to build up the family that I have created. Passionate about the joys life has so graciously given me.

I am forgiving. I am consistent. I am fierce. I am patient.

Through the guilt that I so often face, I have come to understand that there are so many things that make me the best mother in my child’s world. Forget the pain you feel when you choose to do something that is in the best interest of you. We deserve some of our free will to be made solely in regards to our own wellness.

Because it’s hard being a selfless, persistent, determined, passionate, forgiving, consistent, and fierce MOM.