Am I Alone?

It is estimated that over 5 million children in the US have witnessed what it is like to have an incarcerated parent.

Today I spent the better portion of four hours searching online for support for people like me.

With a parent in prison.

I searched countless pages of Google results, researched support group resources for my area (most of which were AA or NAA in-person meetings), online websites, several foreign nonprofit organizations, Facebook groups – all of which were inactive since 2017 (which is now FIVE years ago?!), or had a total of 36 members worldwide… not helpful. No matter where I looked or where I searched, nothing was of use to me.

Most of the websites I found offered references for adults suffering with addiction or how to deal with the adoption of a child with an incarcerated parent (if only my adoptive parents would have read those 20 years ago!).

I am going to be 27 this year. Not exactly a child anymore.

I know that there are others like me out there, just waiting to be seen,

heard,

loved.

Just like me.

I have come to the conclusion that something more needs to be offered to the people in the surrounding communities.

I just have to figure out what.

I have been working really hard in therapy lately. I recently requested information from DCFS regarding my case from 2003. I talk with my therapist weekly and am currently working through reparenting myself and overcoming my complex post traumatic trauma from my childhood.

For some reason, it feels better just knowing the verbiage. It means that I’m not alone.

I’m just struggling to find people like me in a world where there are so many people going through the same thing.

The Good

Tonight, I wanna praise the hearts of good people- the ones with strong minds, and brave souls. The kinds of people that ask if you’re okay when pulled off the road with car trouble.

Or the types of people that make eye contact and offer a kind smile.

I’ve met some good people in my life.

In a world that sometimes seems so bleak, it’s refreshing to think about those that make a difference in the hearts of those around them. There is good still out there and I believe it’s found the spirits of every small country town.