EOD Thoughts: 11.27.2020

Dylan usually has the Friday after Thanksgiving off of work, but since his company was behind on orders since they had to shutdown due to the pandemic, his boss told them that they still had to get 40 hours in this week.

I turned in my request to use a vacation day today like a month ago because I figured Dylan would have the day off because he usually does and I never do.

So he worked 4 hours on Thanksgiving and some 12 hour days just so he could have the day off with me since I had already gotten it off.

We pay for the babysitter for every day, even if we decide to keep Della home. So we didn’t want to pay for a day she wasn’t there, so we took her to daycare and Dylan and I spent the day in the woods at our good friends’ place. He has about 80 acres of wooded land, so we went out in a secluded part of it and started “bush crafting.” (If you can even call it that) The boys have a purely wood shelter that they built from trees that they cut down and set up. They then collected creek rocks and clay from the earth and built a clay oven!! They truly love playing out there. We even camped out there last weekend.

I spent a lot of the day raking a path from our shelter to the creek that’s nearby.

It’s amazing how just a bit of time out there can make me forget all of what’s going on in reality.

The sun felt clean and refreshing on my face. It was about 45°, so it wasn’t too cold and the sun came out to make it warm enough that I didn’t even need a coat. We were all working anyway, so our body temps were up.

It was nice to have a care-free day out enjoying nature with my man. It’s something he’s really passionate about and I am too. We camp and hike a lot.

We were talking about how we were pretty blessed with some nice weather this fall/winter. The pandemic keeps us home, but with the weather we’ve had, it’s allowed us to enjoy the outdoors too.

I’m thankful for so many things in my life. A loving family. Nature’s power to renew. Good health.

We have to learn to make the most out of what we’ve got. Adjustments are hard, just make sure you’re taking time to do the things you love.

EOD Thoughts: 11.25.2020

I worked two hours this morning and then took the rest of the week off.

I’m so often cautious of using PTO and Vacation hours because of, uh, LIFE. But hey! I needed a break so I finally took some time.

Didn’t do much after work but pick up the house and workout. So I didn’t accomplish a lot of my to do list today, but I did take a short nap, did some yoga, snacked on some foods I enjoy, watched my favorite TV show, and had a margarita.

Self pampering is refreshing. And although I still have some chores to finish, I feel so much tension (physically) released from my shoulders and back. I was able to spend time with myself.

No kids.

No hubby.

No work.

Just me, doing whatever I wanted.

So tonight I’m feeling good. I’m currently sitting at our candlelit table smiling and full of thankfulness. Dylan and I have been giggling all night. What a great night to bring in the holiday.

Goodnight, my friends. It feels good to leave this post with a steadily warm heart ❤️

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Tonight’s Reflection Quotes:

Sponsor The Turrell Family This Holiday Season + Get Closer to God By Giving

Originally posted on Leverage Ambition : Times are tough for many this holiday season. There are many …
Sponsor The Turrell Family This Holiday Season + Get Closer to God By Giving

EOD Thoughts: 11.24.2020

We are quickly approaching Thanksgiving! This year has simultaneously been at a standstill and flown by.

This year is going to be much different in our household. No real big plans and no big gatherings. I have to admit, it actually brings me some peace. It’s nice to see family on the holidays; and most of the time, it’s the only time my entire family is together, but having two sides of the family for both Dylan and I can get overwhelming – and that doesn’t even include our grandparents. So this year we won’t have to spend a good chunk of the day on the road traveling and can instead spend time at home together.

Plus, I don’t have to drive myself crazy in the kitchen this year 😉

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Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

EOD Thoughts: 11.22.2020

Another weekend has come and gone.

We try not to go out much so we spent the weekend decorating our Christmas tree and putting up our outdoor lights.

I love the holidays even more now that I have a child of my own. We get to recreate our favorite childhood memories and make new ones of our own. There’s so much opportunity for creativity and it’s so fun to reminisce every year.

What traditions do you have for the holidays?

EOD Thoughts: 11.19.2020

My weeks are starting to feel longer. Each day of work is stagnant and uneventful and I’d even say they’re becoming mind numbing.

No real thoughtful work. Just data entry.

Every day. For weeks.

Just eight hours of thoughtless data input and no responsibility or ownership of my tasks.

I like the company I work for and I liked the job I had before the virus, but since it hit our company hard, work is limited and roles are much different than they were before.

I don’t know how much I can hold onto this position without losing my dignity and sanity.

I feel like I’m being held back from my real potential and it’s degrading.

Working from home leaves more opportunities to take selfies LOL

30 Miles

Tonight I want to get vulnerable with myself. I want to examine reality and determine what parts of it aren’t real.

And since it’s part of my story, I think it’s important to share it all with you. I consider myself a writer. It’s something that I feel proud of myself as. But I’m not just a writer. I am a sharer. I am a personal, stretch-the-limits kind of writer. I share the deepest, scariest, and most exposing feelings of my life and I think it’s why I always receive messages from people saying that my story helped them, or inspired them, or intrigued them.

So I won’t stop.

I can’t stop.

I have a story to tell and it’s important for me to share so that people like me know they aren’t alone.

Growing up, I lived about 30 miles from my mom. Just a short 25 minute cruise away. It wasn’t necessarily hard for me to search for her if I wanted to, and I think that made our separation feel deceiving. We weren’t really that far away from one another, yet we were living in completely different worlds.

In high school and even a short time in college, success was hard for me to feel appreciation for. I’d hit one milestone, feel the warmth of victory, but then put my nose right back down and focus on what was coming next. What was the next life trophy I can knock off the list?

The thing that made success the hardest for me was that every time I hit a moment of pride, I knew my name would be in the paper, or on the news, or on the radio.

And my mom was only 30 miles away.

Surely, she saw what I did?

Surely, she is proud of me?

With these wonderings, I quietly held onto the hope that only being 30 miles away gives you…

She probably knows where I’m playing basketball this week because she watched the news last night.

She might be at the next game.

Maybe.

She probably read my name in the newspaper for my good grades last week.

I bet she was proud when she saw my name.

30 miles. I mean, how is that all that separates my mom and me?

30 measly miles?

It was enraging and sanity-deteriorating because I drove myself crazy looking for her every time I left my house. I’d walk into Wal-Mart and stare at the backs of any blonde-haired woman, daring it to be her when she turned around. I’d run across the river for gas and look at every pump.

I scanned the bleachers of every game of every sport I ever played.

Because she was only 30 miles away.

It was damaging in so many ways because I didn’t know how to release the pressure that built up in me and I didn’t know how to live a life where I felt like I always had to search for her. But then I got old enough to roam the world when and how I wanted to, and suddenly the clouds parted, and I was no longer searching.

I was suddenly only 30 miles away if I wanted to be.

And that had nothing to do with where I lived.

I accepted what was and quit being infatuated with any short, blonde woman that had her back to me. I knew that if I ever did find myself in a room with her, I was finally in a place to remain in control of my emotions. And that was something I never felt throughout all my high school years.

30 miles apart and I had no idea if she was following my growth or completely oblivious to the person I had become. Earlier, I stated that success was hard to appreciate, but it was still something that I was dedicated to and worked very hard at.

I wanted her to feel bad about missing out on supporting me while I followed my dreams.

I didn’t want to give her the easy way back in because I was doing just fine without her.

I became educated.

I got stronger.

I chose to serve my country.

I grew independent and caring and gentle.

I rose above every situation that was designed to set me back.

I made it to the other side.

All while missing my mom

From 30 miles away

EOD Thoughts: 11.10.2020

My company has scaled back their return to office plan so instead of two days in office, I’m cutting it down to just one day in office. I could have chosen to go completely remote, but Mondays I have meetings that I would rather be there in person for.

Not a whole lot new going on. I started Christmas shopping and wrapping and I’ve already got probably ten presents under the tree. I’m so very ready for the holiday season.

I’m tired of the ever-changing life we love now. Nothing is the same and it’s draining my mental health because I rely and appreciate schedules and planning. And in 2020, there is no planning.

2020: The Year of Flying by the Seats of our Pants

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Tonight’s Reflection Quote:

A Vulnerable Heart

I held you in my arms

Minutes after you were born

I looked into your perfect, sweet face

And felt something in my heart

That has yet to be recreated

There is no love like a Mother’s

We feel your pain deeper than you do

Our hearts swell with pride

Even when you don’t notice the value of your success

We do our best trying to find the balance

Between your protection and your learning experiences